If your parents are unhappy, are you destined for unhappiness, too? Psychologists used to believe that genes played a determining role in our state of mind. But new research is finding that people can do more than previously thought to improve their outlook on life. “Things are more complex than simple genetic models suggest,” says Ed Diener, a professor of psychology at the University of Illinois who researches subjective well-being. “People are stuck with the genes they have … but we know that adult personality can change, and people probably have some control over this.”
How much control is still a matter of debate within the field. In a new book, “The How of Happiness” (Penguin Press. $24.95), Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychology professor at the University of California, Riverside, proposes that a full 40 percent of our happiness is within our control. Using data from research on identical and fraternal twins, she concludes that an additional 50 percent is determined by genetics. The remaining 10 percent is dictated by circumstance—like a recent divorce or a financial windfall. “In the past, we’ve heard you can’t make people happy sustainably because happiness is genetic or because life’s circumstances won’t allow it,” says Lyubomirsky. “I argue that there are things we can actually change.”
Lyubomirsky, who has been studying happiness for nearly two decades, offers a dozen so-called happiness intervention strategies in her book, all backed by her own or others’ research. With help from a National Institute of Mental Health grant, she and colleague Ken Sheldon have conducted or reviewed dozens of studies with participants who, for example, wrote letters of gratitude, performed conscious acts of kindness or kept a “best possible selves” journal to outline future goals over six or more weeks. When compared with control groups, those who performed the activities regularly reported “significantly bigger” increases in their happiness levels, as compared with before the intervention. “Even nine months later, we still saw the effects: those who continued to practice these strategies had more sustained happiness,” she says. Here’s more advice from the book:
Don’t overthink it. When you catch yourself stewing over something, tell yourself, “Stop.” Or set aside 30 minutes late in the day to do nothing but ruminate. Chances are, when the appointed time comes, the issues that plagued your thoughts earlier will seem less consequential.
Learn good coping skills. Write down traumatic experiences and learn how to recognize, and argue with, overly pessimistic thoughts.
Savor life’s joys. Relish ordinary experiences, like a good meal or a hot shower; conjure up a favorite memory when you’re down.
Cultivate optimism. After studying Lyubomirsky’s strategies, photographer Kelly Radinsky, 45, set aside time each evening when she, her husband and two kids, ages 5 and 9, take turns sharing the favorite parts of their day.
Lyubomirsky recommends only trying strategies that match your personality and repeating them only as often as they fit into your schedule (otherwise, they could seem like obligations). She admits that some suggestions may sound “hokey” but stresses that they are based on controlled studies or correlational data showing they can significantly improve participants’ level of happiness compared with those who do not perform the exercises.
“This isn’t someone standing up and saying, ‘Just think positive thoughts.’ She’s doing rigorous research,” says Alan Kazdin, professor of psychology at Yale University and president of the American Psychological Association. “We’ve learned over the past few decades that there are strategies you can use that can actually change the brain, change behavior and then mood and understanding follow.”
Radinsky, who inherited “dark genes” from an abusive father and suicidal mother, says she sometimes has to work at making Lyubomirsky’s strategies a habit, but it’s worth it. “I think they can make the difference between a happy and an unhappy life,” she adds. That’s good news for the pessimists among us.
是不是父母不快乐,你就注定要不快乐呢?心理学家通常认为基因对我们的精神状态有决定性作用。但一项新研究发现,人们改善自己人生观的可能性比以前认为的大得多。伊利诺伊大学的心理学教授埃德·迪纳对主观幸福感进行了研究,他说:“这要比简单的遗传模型学说复杂得多。人们会受到基因的影响,但是我们都知道成年人的个性是可以改变的,并且人们还多多少少地能够这种改变。”
但是能够控制到什么程度还存在着争议。在新书《如何获得幸福》(企鹅出版社,24.95美元)中,里弗赛得市加州大学的心理学教授桑雅‧吕波密斯基说,我们能够控制的幸福感足足有4成之多。根据对异卵双胞胎的研究数据的分析,她总结说取决于遗传的有五成。还有一成的人受环境的影响——比如最近离婚了或者突然发了横财。吕波密斯基说: “过去,我们常常听说,你没办法让人维持幸福感,因为幸福感来自于遗传,或者因为生活环境不允许。我认为,有些东西我们确实是可以改变的。”
吕波密斯基在过去近二十年里一直在研究人们的幸福感,根据她自己的研究以及别人的研究,她在书中提出了12项所谓的“幸福干预战略”。在国立精神卫生研究所的资助下,她和同事肯·谢尔登进行、回顾了几十项研究,他们与过去那些研究的参与者联系,比如那些写来感谢新的参与者、进行有意识的善行的参与者、坚持“最好可能的自我”超过6个或更多星期以便实现未来目标的参与者。与那些克制自己的组员相比,定期执行这些战略的人报告说他们的幸福感水平比执行战略前有了“明显的更大的”提高。她说:“即使是9个月之后,我们仍能看到效果:那些坚持实行这些干预战略的人幸福感持续的更久些。”以下是这本书的其它意见:
不要过多考虑这件事。当你对某件事焦虑不安时,对自己喊“停”。或者在这一天的晚些时候给自己30分钟,什么都不干,只是沉思。时候到了,早前困扰你的问题自然就会减轻。
努力提高适应能力。把经历的创伤写下来,然后学着承认这种过于悲观的想法,并与它抗争。
享受生活的乐趣。仔细品味那些看上去普通的经历,比如一顿好吃的饭菜、一次舒舒服服的热水澡,失落时这些都是美好的回忆。
培养乐观的态度。研究了吕波密斯基的幸福干预战略后,45岁的摄影师Kelly Radinsky每晚拨出一定的时间,与她丈夫以及5岁和9岁的两个孩子轮流讲述这一天中自己最喜欢的事情。
吕波密斯基建议只去尝试那些符合你个性的干预战略,并不断的重复,直到它成为你的习惯(否则,它们看起来很可能像是义务)。她承认有些建议可能听上去有些 “做作”,但也强调这些建议都是建立在研究和相关数据基础上的,这些数据表明做这些练习的人的幸福水平远高于那些不做的人。
美国心理学协会主席、耶鲁大学的心理学教授Alan Kazdin说:“她做的是一项很严谨的研究,而不只是站起来说‘保持积极的想法’这么简单。在过去几十年里我们已经知道,确实有些办法可以改变我们的大脑、行为,然后改变我们的心情以及相应的理解力。”
Radinsky从满口脏话的父亲和自杀的母亲那里继承了“黑暗基因”,她说要让吕波密斯基的干预战略成为习惯,有时候很困难,但是却是值得的。她有补充说:“我觉得它们可以将幸福和不幸福的生活区分开。”这对我们中的悲观主义者来说是个好消息。