Real character development begins with the humble recognition that we are not in charge, that principles ultimately govern. I don’t talk much about ethics and values because to me those words imply situational behaviors, subjective beliefs, social mores, cultural norms, or relative truths. I prefer to talk about universal principles and natural laws that are more absolute. You may think that it’s just a matter of semantics and that when most people talk about values they really mean these universal principles. But I see a clear difference between principles and values. Hitler was value-driven; Saddam Hussein is value-driven. Every person and organization is driven by what they value, bt they aren’t necessarily ethical or principle-centered.

The Humility of Principles

The key to quality of life is to be centered on principles. We’re not in control; principles are in control. We’re arrogant when we think we are in control. Yes, we may control our actions, but not the consequences of our actions. Those are controlled by principles, by natural laws. Building character and creating quality of life is a function of aligning our beliefs and behaviors with universal principles. These principles are impersonal, external, factual, objective, and self-evident. They operate regardless of our awareness of them, or our obedience to them.

If your current lifestyle is not in alignment with these principles, then you might trade a value-based map for a principle-centered compass. When you recognize that external verities and realities ultimately govern, you might willingly subordinate your values to them and align your roles and goals, plans, and activities with them. But doing so often takes a crisis: your company’s downsizing; your job’s on the line; your relationship with the boss goes sour; you lose a major account; your marriage is threatened; your financial problems peak; or you’re told you have just a few months to live. In the absence of such a catalytic crisis, we tend to live in numbed complacency so busy doing good, easy, or routine things that we don’t even stop to ask ourselves if we’re doing what really matters. The good, then, becomes the enemy of the best.

Humility is the mother of all virtues: the humble in spirit progress and are blessed because they willingly submit to higher powers and try to live in harmony with natural laws and universal principles. Courage is the father of all virtues; we need great courage to lead our lives by correct principles and to have integrity in the moment of choice. When we set up our own self-generated or socially-validated value systems and then develop our missions and goals based on what we value, we tend to become laws unto ourselves, proud and independent. Pride hopes to impress; humility seeks to bless. Just because we value a thing doesn’t mean that having it will enhance our quality of life. No “quality movement” in government, business, or education will succeed unless based on “true north” principles. And yet we see leaders who cling to their current style based on self-selected values and bad habits even as their “ship” is sinking when they could be floating safely on the life raft of principles.

Nothing sinks people faster in their careers than arrogance. Arrogance shouts “I know best.” In the uniform of arrogance, we fumble and falter — pride comes and goes before the fall. But dressed in humility, we make progress. As the character Indiana Jones learned in The Last Crusade, “The penitent man will pass.” In pride, we often sow one thing and expect to reap another. Many of our paradigms and the processes and habits that grow out of them never produce the results we expect because they are based on illusions, advertising slogans, program-of-the-month training, and personality-based success strategies. Quality of life can’t grow out of illusion. So how do we align our lives with “true north” realities that govern quality of life?

Four Human Endowments

As human beings, we have four unique endowments: self-awareness, conscience, independent will, and creative imagination that not only separate us from the animal world, but also help us to distinguish between reality and illusion, to transform the clock into a compass, and to align our lives with the extrinsic realities that govern quality of life.

Self-awareness enables us to examine our paradigms, to look at our glasses as well as through them, to think about our thoughts, to become aware of the psychic programs that are in us, and to enlarge the separation between stimulus and response. Self-aware, we can take responsibility for reprogramming or rescripting ourselves out of the stimulus-response mode. Many movements in psychology, education, and training are focused on an enlarged self-consciousness. Most popular self-help literature also focuses upon this capacity. Self-awareness, however, is only one of our unique endowments.

Conscience puts us in touch with something within us even deeper than our thoughts and something outside us more reliable than our values. It connects us with the wisdom of the ages and the wisdom of the heart. It’s an internal guidance system that allows us to sense when we act or even contemplate acting in a way that’s contrary to our deepest values and “true north” principles.

Conscience is universal. By helping companies and individuals develop mission statements, I have learned that what is most personal is most general. No matter what people’s religions, cultures, or backgrounds are, their mission statements all deal with the same basic human needs to live (physical and financial), to love (social), to learn (educational), and to leave a legacy (spiritual).

Independent will is our capacity to act, the power to transcend our paradigms, to swim upstream, to re-write our scripts, to act based on principles rather than reacting based on emotions, moods, or circumstances. While environmental or genetic influences may be very powerful, they do not control us. We’re not victims. We’re not the product of our past. We are the product of our choices. We are “response-able,” meaning we are able to choose our response. This power to choose is a reflection of our independent will.

Creative imagination empowers us to create beyond our present reality. It enables us to write personal mission statements, set goals, plan meetings, or visualize ourselves living our mission statements even in the most challenging circumstances. We can imagine any scenario we want for the future. If our imagination has to go through the straightjacket of our memory, what is imagination for? Memory is limited. It’s finite; it deals with the past. Imagination is infinite; it deals with the present and the future, with potentiality, with vision and mission and goals with anything that is not now but can be. The man-on-the-street approach to success is to work harder, to give it the “old college try.” But unless willpower is matched with creative imagination, these efforts will be weak and ineffective.

Nurturing Our Unique Gifts

Enhancing these endowments requires us to nurture and exercise them continuously. Sharpening the saw once a week or once a month just isn’t enough. It’s too superficial. It’s like a meal. Yesterday’s meal will not satisfy today’s hunger. Last Sunday’s big meal won’t prepare me for this Thursday’s ethical challenge. I will be much better prepared if I meditate every morning and visualize myself dealing with that challenge with authenticity, openness, honesty, and with as much wisdom as I can bring to bear on it.

Here are four ways to nurture your unique endowments:

Nurture self-awareness by keeping a personal journal. Keeping a personal journal — a daily in-depth analysis and evaluation of your experiences — is a high-leverage activity that increases self-awareness and enhances all the endowments and the synergy among them.

Educate your conscience by learning, listening, and responding. Most of us work and live in environments that are rather hostile to the development of conscience. To hear the conscience clearly often requires us to be reflective or meditative, a condition we rarely choose or find. We’re inundated by activity, noise, conditioning, media messages, and flawed paradigms that dull our sensitivity to that quiet inner voice that would teach us of “true north” principles and our own degree of congruency with them. I’ve heard executives say that they can’t win this battle of conscience because expediencies require lies, cover-ups, deceit, or game playing. “That’s just part of the job,” they say. I disagree. I think such rationalization undermines trust within their cultures. If you have back-room manipulation and bad mouthing, you will have a low-trust culture.

A life of total integrity is the only one worth striving for. Granted, it’s a struggle. Some trusted advisors, PR agents, accountants, and legal counselors might say, “This will be political suicide,” or “This will be bad for our image, and so let’s cover up or lie.” You have to look at each case on its own merit. No case is black and white. It takes real judgment to know what you should do. You may feel that you operate “between a rock and a hard place.” Still, with a well-educated conscience or internal compass, you will rarely, if ever, be in a situation where you only have one bad option. You will always have choices. If you wisely exercise your unique endowments, some moral option will be open to you. So much depends on how well you educate your conscience, your internal compass. When my kids were in athletics, they paid the price to get their bodies coordinated with their minds. You’ve got to do the same with your own conscience regularly. The more internal uncertainty you feel, the larger the grey areas will be. You will always have some grey areas, particularly at the extremity of your education and experience. And to grow, you need to go to that xtremity and learn to make those choices based on what you honestly believe to be the right thing to do.

Nurture independent will by making and keeping promises. One of the best ways to strengthen our independent will is to make and keep promises. Each time we do, we make deposits in our personal integrity account the amount of trust we have in ourselves, in our ability to walk our talk. To build personal integrity, start by making and keeping small promises. Take it a step and a day at a time.

Develop creative imagination through visualization.

Visualization, a high-leverage mental exercise used by world-class athletes and performers, may also be used to improve your quality of life. For example, you might visualize yourself in some circumstance that would normally create discomfort or pain. In your mind’s eye, instead of seeing yourself react as you normally do, see yourself acting on the basis of the principles and values in your mission statement. The best way to predict your future is to create it.

Roots Yield Fruits

With the humility that comes from being principle-centered, we can better learn from the past, have hope for the future, and act with confidence, not arrogance, in the present. Arrogance is the lack of self-awareness; blindness; an illusion; a false form of self-confidence; and a false sense that we’re somehow above the laws of life. Real confidence is anchored in a quiet assurance that if we act based on principles, we will produce quality-of-life results. It’s confidence born sp; of character and competence.

Our security is not based on our possessions, positions, credentials, or on comparisons with others; rather, it flows from our own integrity to “true north” principles. I confess that I struggle with total integrity and do not always “walk my talk.” I find that it’s easier to talk and teach than to practice what I preach. I’ve come to realize that I must commit to having total integrity to be integrated around a set of correct principles. I’ve observed that if people never get centered on principles at some time in their lives, they will take the expedient political-social path to success and let their ethics be defined by the situation. They will say, “business is business,” meaning they play the game by their own rules. They may even rationalize major transgressions in the name of business, in spite of having a lofty mission statement.

Only by centering on “timeless” principles and then living by them can we enjoy sustained moral, physical, social, and financial wellness.

真正的人格培养是从最原始的认知开始的。然而对于这种认知我们无法做到自控，而遵守原则才能最终做到有效的个人管理。我在这儿不多谈价值观，因为我认为这些说法都暗含着情境中的行为方式，主观信仰，文化符号或是相关联的真理之类的东西。我更愿意谈一谈世界上最普遍的原则和更绝对一些的自然法则。你也许会觉得这只是个语义的问题：大多数人眼里的价值观就是这些普遍原则啊。但我觉得原则和价值观之间有着明显的差别。希特勒是价值观机器，萨达姆也是价值观取向的。每一个人和组织都是为他们所看重的价值观所驱动的，然而这些都不是以原则为本的。

谦虚之原则

过高质量生活的关键是以原则为本的。然而我们做不到自制，只有原则本身是自控的。当我们觉得自己完全把握自己的时候往往会显得自高自大。不错，我们可能控制我们的行为，但却不能控制我们行为的结果。而那些正是被原则和自然法则控制的。发展人格和创造高质量生活就是让自己的信仰，行为和普遍原则相一致。这些原则是非个人的，外在的，客观的，真实并且是不言而喻的。不管我们意识到他们的存在与否，或遵守这些原则与否，这些原则都在发挥他们的作用。如果你现在的生活方式和这些原则不相符，你可能用的是一张价值取向的地图，却拿着一个原则为本的方向盘。当你意识到外在的准则和现实最终会决定结果的时候，你就会让自己的价值观归属于他们，并让自己的角色，目标，计划和活动都与之相一致。然而这样做会冒风险：你的公司在缩水；你的工作可能不保；你同老板的关系变糟；你丢了一个大单子；你的婚姻遭遇危机；你的财务问题爆满；或者还有人告诉你只有几个月可以活。在没有这些危机之前，我们往往生活在一种麻木的状态下忙着做着对的，轻松的，常规的事，却从不会停下来问问自己所做的事情是否真的事关紧要。接着这些“对”的事儿就会和“普遍原则”发生矛盾了。

谦逊是所有美德的母亲：谦虚的人格在精神上得到成长，且受到神的庇护，这是因为他们愿意服从更高的智慧并且同自然法则（普遍原则）和谐相处。勇气是一切美德的父亲：我们需要巨大的勇气，在需要做出选择的时刻诚实地选择正确的原则。当我们建立了自发的亦或是社会赋予的价值体系，并随后在我们的价值观基础上去开展活动，实现目标，我们就成了充满自豪感且独立的自然法则本身了。自豪的人影响众人，谦逊的人尊重为众人带来福气。我们看重一件事情并不代表拥有它就能提高我们的生活质量。除非政府，企业，教育部门都以这个“指南针”原则为本，否则他们不会成功。另外我们也看到很多领导甚至在他们开的那条“船”已经在下沉了的时候，仍然坚持自己的那套价值观和坏习惯，而不知道他们本可以通过“原则为本”的救生艇就能安全地从水中浮上来。

没什么比自高自大更快让一个人在职场上走向失败的了。自大的人高喊：只有我知道最多。在这种傲慢的外衣下，我们摇摇欲坠—骄傲自满在失败之前总是横行霸道。然而谦逊的人就不一样，谦虚让人进步。就像夺宝奇兵之圣战奇兵的印第安纳琼斯所说：悔悟的人会达成。骄傲自满的时候我们常常会种瓜却希望得豆。这种看世界的方式，程序还有习惯永远都无法得到我们期待的结果。因为这些结果都是建立在虚幻，广告词，口头训练，或者性格成功策略上的。高质量生活不可能从这些臆想当中获得。那么我们如何让自己的生活和这个掌握生活质量的原则相一致呢？

人的四个天赋

作为人，我们都有四个独特的天赋：自觉，意识，独立意志和创造性想象力，这些不仅让我们和动物世界区分开来，还帮助我们辨别真实和虚幻；把闹钟变成罗盘；并使自己的生活和现实相一致。

鉴于我们往往透过“眼镜”来看待周围的事物，自觉可以让我们检索自己的范式，即看问题的方式，观察我们的“眼镜”，通过它检视自己的思维方式，并对我们内在的心理程序有所察觉，并且有意识地使我们把刺激和回应区别开来。如果我们能自觉，我们就能跳出刺激－回应的模式，而重新为自己撰写剧本，重新编写程序。很多心理学，教育学，培训领域的发展就集中在加强自觉这个能力上。然而自觉只是我们独特天赋中的一种。

意识让我们同思维和一些比价值观更可靠的东西做更深入的接触。它将我们同各个时代的智慧，还有心灵的智慧联接在一起。它是内在的，并且可以让我们感受到。即使我们的行动和我们最深层次的价值观相冲突，我们依然可以凭借自我意识做出正确的选择。意识是世界性的。我在帮公司和个人做行动计划书的时候就认识到：越是个人的就越是最具有普遍性的。无论这个人的宗教信仰，文化，背景，他们的行动计划书都要关乎最基本的人类需要，那就是：生活（健康和财务安全），爱（社会交往），学习（教育）和精神遗产。

独立意志是我们行动的能力，也是转变我们思维方式（范式）的力量。它是力争上游，改写自己剧本，以及实现从对情感，情绪，环境等变化的反应转变到以原则为行动准则的意志力。即使环境或是遗传基因的影响很强大的时候，他们也控制不了我们。我们不再是受害者。我们也不再是过往的产物，我们是自我选择的结果。我们变得有责任，也就是我们有能力选择做出自己的回应了。这个选择的力量就是独立意志力的写照。

创造的想象力则可以让我们创造超出我们现有现实的东西。我们可以通过它写下个人行动计划，目标，计划会议，甚至可以在最艰难的情况下也可以设想我们就活在这个想象的空间里。我们可以想象任何我们想要的未来场景。如果我们的想象必须要经过我们记忆的紧身衣，那我们还要想象力做什么？记忆是有限的，是确定的，它只关乎过去。想象是无限的，它和当下和将来有关，和可能性，和任何现在没有但将来会有的远景有关。我们说人在职场里打拼，要想成功只有更加努力工作。然而除非意志力加上创造性的想象力，否则这些努力也是微弱，且没有效率的。

培养我们的独特天赋

加强这些天赋能力需要我们不断的培养和练习。一周或者一个月磨一次锯子是不够的。这就像是吃饭一样。昨天吃的饭不能保证今天肚子不饿。上周日的大餐也不会让我应对好这周四的挑战。如果我每天早晨做练习，设想自己带着平静，开放，诚恳的心态，还有我能在此之上获得的智慧一起，我就会准备的更好些。

这里是四种培养天赋的方法：

自觉：记日记－－每天深入的分析和评估自己今天的经历，这是一种高效能提高自觉，加强能力和自己产生共鸣的一个活动。

意识：通过学习，聆听，回应来训练自我意识。我们中的绝大多数人都工作生活在对意识发展极其恶劣的环境当中。要想清晰地听到自我的意识常常需要我们进入沉思的状态，这是一种我们很少尝试，也很少发现的状态。我们被淹没在活动，嘈杂，各种环境，媒体信息和一些有缺陷的范式里，这些嘈杂使我们的知觉对本来平静的内心的声音感到麻木。我听过一些老总说他们没法这样训练自我意识，因为权宜之计就需要谎言，欺骗，还有游戏。“那是工作的一部分。”他们都这样说。我是不同意的。我认为这种理性损坏了他们文化中的诚信。如果你幕后操纵还传坏话,你肯定有一个信任度很低的文化。

人最值得去追寻的是一种完全忠实的生活。这是一种斗争。有些可信的咨询师，代理商，会计，法律咨询员可能会说：哦，这可是自杀啊。对咱们的形象可没什么好处，我们还是藏起来，撒一下谎吧。但是你要从它本身的价值去看每一件事情。没有任何事情是非黑即白的。你必须做出判断，才能知道你该怎么做。你可能会觉得你是在两难之间行事。但是你拥有好的自我意识和内在方向感，你仍然能做出好的选择。你总会有选择的机会。如果你很聪明地训练你的天赋能力，一些好的选择就会向你敞开。而这些都取决于你是否很好地发觉了你的自我意识，即你的内在方向盘。当我的小孩学体育的时候，他们会付出努力让身体和思维结合起来。你也需要定期对你自己的意识做同样的事。你感受到的内在不稳定感越多，你的灰色地带就越大。你会一直有一些灰色地带，尤其是在你的教育和经历的极限边缘。而如果你要获得成长就必须到那个极限去，并且学会用你真正相信正确的方式去做出选择。

培养独立意志力就是要做出承诺，并且遵守这些承诺。这是训练意志力的最后方式。每当我们这样做的时候，我们就在个人的诚信储蓄罐里储藏了这种我们与生俱来的信任感，并且增强了我们说自己话的能力。要建立个人诚信，首先从小承诺开始。一天一次，一步一个脚印地做起来。

发展创造性想象力要通过设想。这种高水平的脑力训练被很多世界级的运动员，表演艺术家所采用，当然也可能可以用来改善你的生活质量。比如：你可以想象自己在某些不舒服或者痛苦的环境当中。这时，透过你心灵的眼睛，你看到自己运用原则和价值观来做出你的回应，而不是你通常那样：碰到不适就立刻反弹的状况。预见未来的最好方式就是去创造它。

种瓜得瓜，种豆得豆

如果我们拥有以原则为本之谦虚的品格，我们就能更好地学习过去，对将来满怀希望，感觉自信而不是自大。自大缺乏自觉，它无视周围的事物。它也是一种虚幻，一种自以为自信的幻觉，还是一种以为自己凌驾于生活法则之上的错觉。真正自信的人是平静的，确信的。这样的人确信如果以原则为本来为人处事，就一定会获得高质量的生活。

我们的安全感不是建立在我们拥有多少财富，有多高的地位，和别人的攀比等等之上的，而是从我们遵循内在方向感和诚信原则的自然流露。我承认我自己和这种完全诚信原则斗争过，而且也不总是遵循言行的完全诚信原则。我也发现比起实践我想要传授的这些观念，只是谈一谈，教一教的话要容易得多。因此我意识到我必须全然地遵循这些诚信原则。我也观察到如果有人从来没有在他的生活当中实践过原则为本的话，那他们就会走歪门邪道的方式达到成功，并且让他们的价值观由当时的环境来定义。他们会说：“人在江湖，身不由己”，意思就是说他们有他们自己游戏的规则。即使他们有一个很高尚的目标，他们也甚至会以公事公办的名义来违背道德。

只有以以上这些永恒的原则为本，并依照他们生活，我们才能享有一个在道德，身心，社会交往和财务上持续的幸福感。