Are you wounded?

    Have you ever tried to put some water on a fresh wound? If you have, you must have felt some pain. Water, which can never harm you if you were not injured, has just made you feel some pain when it touched your wound, simply because when we develop a wound we tend to become over sensitive to factors that didn't bother us before.

    The same goes for emotional wounds: What if you have some emotional wounds that are making you over-sensitive to factors that other people don't even notice? All of these small things that are bothering you may be harmless on their own, but they hurt you because they touch your wounds just like the water did.

    Emotional Wounds and Emotional Pain

    Why do you think you felt that bad when they didn't call you? Is it because they are bad people? And why wasn't your friend, whom they also didn't call, bothered the way you are? It's because he is not wounded. Your wound in this case may be social approval; you may have been wounded before by people who didn't approve of you and so whenever someone ignores you again it hurts, not because it should hurt, but because it touched your wound and reminded you of the past rejection.

    How many times do you find a girl asking her friends for reassurance of her good looks just after breaking up? Why did she feel pain? Did she love him that much? No, it's just that she was wounded before. When she was young, people always used to make fun of her because she was too slim; now whenever someone rejects her, she feels bad, not because of the rejection, but because this rejection touched her old wound.

    Why do you think a guy may feel broken and devastated when he gets a rejection letter? Is it because he really wanted the job that much? Not really. If he wanted it that much, he would have felt bad about the rejection but not broken; it's just that this rejection touched an old wound. As a child he was seldom encouraged by his parents and so he grew up lacking self-confidence in his abilities. Whenever he gets a rejection letter, he feels much pain, not because of being worried about his future, but because of his old wound that hasn't yet healed.

    Those Wounds Are Making You Vulnerable

    Those wounds are making you vulnerable! Things that others usually don't pay attention to may prevent you from sleeping just because you have some wounds that haven't healed. The more wounds you have, the more you'll find that small things bother you and eventually become over-sensitive to every critical comment even if the other person didn't really mean to offend you.

    The more wounds you have the less time you will feel happy, because every now and then, something will touch your wound and make you feel bad, just like the water touches your wounded hand in the example above. Some people think that they can heal their wounds by forgetting about them or by keeping themselves busy, however, this strategy always works against them.

    Happiness can't be really achieved unless you get rid of your emotional wounds or at least start dealing with them. Heal your wounds, face your problems, stop turning your back to them and you will kill depression.

    How to Heal These Wounds?

    Before you can heal any of these wounds you should first identify their location, or in other words, know the reason behind that wound. Don't just be passive; seek your answers and trace your wounds to their origin. If critical comments bother you, then don't just stay like that. Search the web, read more, think and analyze until you know the root cause and when you finally know the cause, healing the wound itself becomes much simpler.

    Reading in a website like this may let you discover the cause of many of your wounds and so help you to recover. Remember, if you try to just escape or forget about these wounds, they aren't going to leave you alone, they will remind you of their existence with each rejection, critical comment or whenever you get dumped or ignored. Don't leave your wounds like that, heal them and eliminate some of your weak points.

    Have you healed emotional wounds that were causing you pain? Please share your experiences in the comments below.

    你受伤了吗？

    你试过把水洒在新的伤口上吗？如果你试过，定会感到些许疼痛。如果没有受伤，水是不会伤害你的，倘若受了伤，水流过伤口时，便会有几许疼痛。原因很简单，我们受伤时，往往会对以前不曾困扰我们的因素变得过分敏感。

    感情的创伤也是如此：如果你在感情上受了伤，而这些创伤让你对别人毫不在意的事情变得过分敏感，你该怎么办呢？所有这些困扰着你的琐事它们本身并无害处，却能让你受到伤害，这是因为它们像水一样正触碰着你感情的伤口。

    感情创伤和感情苦痛

    为什么他们没有给你打电话，你会感到伤心难过呢？因为他们心地不善吗？你的朋友也没有接到他们的电话，为什么这种情况却不会困扰你呢？那是因为他（你的朋友）的这种情况并没有伤害你。在这件事中，你伤心难过的原因或许在于社会的认同；在此之前也许你曾被那些不认同你的人伤害过，所以此后每当有人再次忽视你时，你便会受伤。不是因为这件事情本身伤害了你，而是因为这种情形触及你的情感创伤，让你回想起了过去曾被否定的情景。

    曾经几次一个女孩在结束一段感情后会向她的女友确认她是否美丽动人？为什么她会感到痛苦？她真的很爱他吗？并非如此，只是因为在此之前她在感情上曾受过伤。年轻时人们总是嘲笑她长得太瘦小，如今每当遭到别人的拒绝，她总会情绪低落，不是因为别人拒绝了她而难过，而是因为这种情形触及了她的旧伤。

    为什么你认为一个男孩收到回绝函时他会感到崩溃和沮丧？因为他真的很想得到这份工作吗？其实不然。如果他真的很想得到这份工作，只会难过而不会崩溃；正是因为这种被否定的情形触及了他的旧伤。他在小的时候就很少受到父母的赞许，所以长大后对自己的能力缺乏自信。每当收到回绝函时，他便忧伤满怀，并不是因为担心自己的将来，而是因为他的旧伤还未愈合。

    那些创伤让你如此脆弱

    那些创伤让你如此脆弱！那些通常被别人忽略的事情让你无法入睡，因为你的伤口还未愈合。你受到的伤害越多，越感到哪怕是很小的事情也在烦扰着你，最终你会变得对所有的批评过分敏感，即便批评你的那个人并非真正有意打击你。

    受伤越多，感受到快乐的时光就越少，因为那些事情会不时地触碰你的伤口，让你感到疼痛，就好像上例子中水淌过你受伤的手一样。有些人以为忘记伤痛或者让自己忙碌便可以治愈感情创伤，然而，结果总会事与愿违。

    只有你治愈了感情的创伤或者至少已经开始疗伤，幸福才会真正来临。治愈创伤，正视问题，直面伤痛，你将不再消沉沮丧。

    如何治愈感情创伤？

    在治疗这些伤口之前，首先必须弄清它们的位置，换句话说，你要先弄明白这些伤痛的原因。对待这些创伤不能仅仅采取被动的态度，而要寻找你的答案并追踪伤痛的根源。如果那些针对你的批评意见烦扰着你，那么就不要像那样呆站在原地了。可以通过上网、阅读、思考和分析的方法，直到你找到最根本的原因，弄清楚原因以后，治愈你的伤口会变得更加简单。

    l 浏览像这样的网站可以让你找到很多受伤的原因，这样就有助于你疗伤。记住，如果你一味想着逃避或者遗忘这些伤痛，那么它们将不会远离你，相反，每当你遭到否定、受到批评，或是被甩、被忽视时，它们将提醒你它们依然存在。不要再让这些创伤如此折磨你了，治愈它们，消除你情感上的薄弱点。

    你曾治愈过那些让你痛楚的感情创伤么？请在下面的评论栏中与大家分享你的经验。