我知道这听上去很可笑:每到午餐时间,我就不再是一个精明强干的人,而变成一个不知道该吃什么、犹豫不决的傻瓜。
I know this will sound laughable, but every lunchtime I stop being a highly capable person and turn into a dithering fool over what to eat.
首先,我无法决定上哪家三明治吧吃。
First, I cannot decide which sandwich bar to go to.
其次,站在冷藏食品柜前,我会拿起一条布里干酪法棍面包,放回去,接着拿起一块金枪鱼三明治,绝望地走出店门--我根本不喜欢金枪鱼。
Then, I stand at the chilled-food cabinet and find myself picking up a brie baguette, putting that back down and in despair heading out of the shop with a tuna melt, when I don't even like tuna.
别人也有同样的问题吗?他们会怎么做?
Does anyone else have this problem? And what do they do about it?
私人助理,女,45岁
PA, female, 45
露西的回答
Lucy's answer
我也曾长期患有"急性午餐时间犹豫不决综合症",所以我知道那有多可怕。
I, too, have been a long-time sufferer from Acute Lunchtime Indecision Syndrome, and so I know how horrible it is.
不止你我是这个样子:在每间三明治吧,每到午餐时间,都排满了精神紧张的上班族,他们拿不定主意是吃当季火鸡填料三明治,还是吃西班牙口利左香肠加火箭生菜法棍面包。
We are not alone: in every sandwich bar at lunchtime there are lines of stressed workers unable to decide between the seasonal turkey-and- stuffing sandwich or chorizo and rocket baguette.
我为选择三明治而焦虑的时间,远长于为选择职业或伴侣而焦虑的时间--乍看之下,这二者似乎应该反过来。
I have spent infinitely more time flapping over my choice of sandwich than over my choice of career, or of spouse - which at first sight seems rather upside down.
不过,关于选择三明治为何如此之难,可以从三个方面解释。
However, there are three things that explain why it is so hard to choose.
第一,在工作中进行决策时,通常存在一个正确的答案,人们可以运用逻辑、经验和判断来找到正确答案。
The first is that when making a decision at work, there usually is a right answer and one can deploy logic, experience and judgment to find it.
而选择哪种三明治则不存在正确答案,也几乎无从参考。
But with a sandwich there are no right answers and precious few reference points.
第二,选择三明治是个极其复杂的问题。工作中的决策往往非此即彼,或者在屈指可数的方案中进行选择。
The second is that the sandwich choice is devilishly complicated. Decisions at work tend to be binary, or between a manageable number of options.
至于午餐,在从我办公室信步可至的范围内,大约有20家店,每家店大约有50种食物可吃。这样就有1000种三明治。
With lunch, there are about 20 places within easy walk of my office, and at each there are about 50 different things to eat. That means 1,000 sandwiches.
要从中选一种三明治,难怪会让人觉得头疼。
No wonder we feel sick at the thought of choosing just one.
叫人绝望的第三个原因是,在我们终于选了一种三明治后,我们很可能对它感到失望,因为快餐大多口感不佳。
The third reason for our despair is that when we make the final choice we are very likely to be disappointed - as most fast food is beastly.
假如你昨天犹豫半天才选了金枪鱼三明治,然后发现吃起来很可怕,你今天就会有更大的决心选一种更好吃的食物,这就进一步加重了你的焦虑感。
If you dithered for ages yesterday and found the tuna melt horrid, it increases your determination to choose something today that is better. And that ratchets up the anxiety even further.
这事没什么可羞愧的。据说,爱因斯坦总是穿着同样的衣服,这样就用不着为穿什么衣服这种琐事而伤脑筋。
There is nothing to feel ashamed of in all this. Einstein was said always to wear the same clothes so as to avoid having to trouble his brain with such piffling matters as deciding between suits.
去年我一直在效仿爱因斯坦的方法,来决定我的午餐食谱。现在我每天吃同样的三明治,只随着季节而改变花样。
And in the past year I have been adapting the Einstein approach to my lunchtime menu. Now I eat the same sandwich every day, varying it only with the seasons.
冬天我吃烤火腿和奶酪。由于我知道它的味道会是怎样的,所以我从不会感到失望。
In the winter I have toasted ham and cheese and, as I know what it will taste like, I'm never disappointed.
我要想"康复"还得一步一步来,但到目前为止,我的症状可以说有所缓解。我上次在三文鱼和布里干酪之间犹豫不决已经是几个月前的事了。我清楚那种疯狂。
I still take it one day at a time, but so far it's safe to say I'm in remission. It is months since I looked questioningly at the salmon or brie. I know that way madness lies.
读者的建议
Your advice
搬到小镇
Move town
搬到古耳(Goole)来吧。这里没有什么金枪鱼三明治,也没有7英镑的超级食品沙拉。这里"可选的"是馅饼或派。
Move to Goole. There are no tuna melts, no ?7 superfood salads. Here, the "choice" is pies, pasties or pies.
如果你愿意的话,他们甚至会给你的三明治浇上肉汁。有利的一点是,每样东西都只卖1.8英镑左右。如此一来,即使你一开始就选错了午餐,代价也相对低廉。
They will even pour gravy on your sandwiches if you let them. The good news is everything costs about ?1.80, so your lunch is destroyed at source with relatively little expense.
推迟用餐
Postpone food
晚点吃,你的胃就会压倒你的头脑,来为你作出选择。或者,到那时,你会因为太过饥饿而不在乎吃什么。
Eat later: your stomach will override your brain and choose for you. Or, by then, you will be too hungry to care.
打电话问朋友
Phone a friend
我的问题正相反:多数时候,我完全知道自己想吃什么;但我的同事们,与你一样,似乎无法决定自己要吃什么。
I have the opposite problem: I know exactly what I want on most days, but my colleagues, like you, seem incapable of making a decision.
他们会问我,然后经常与我一起吃,无论我选择到哪里吃。
Their solution is to ask me, and then quite often to join me wherever I am going.
为别人决定基本生活问题让我厌烦,因此我会设法甩掉他们,这时他们就索性在公司食堂吃。
It pains me to be making fundamental life decisions for other people, so I try to give them the slip and they simply default to the company canteen.
别吃三明治
Avoid sandwiches
湿乎乎的三明治会让你午后昏昏欲睡。
Soggy sandwiches create lethargic afternoons.
我们找了本地一位包办伙食的人,他专门供应"营养午餐"--我们的工作效率因此得到提高,现在公司为我们出午餐的钱。
We found a local caterer who specialises in providing a "nutritious lunch" - and such are the productivity improvements that the firm now contributes to the cost of our lunch.
自带午餐
Pack your lunch
从家里带吃的。然后捐出5英镑,给一家为那些没条件选择午餐的人提供食物的慈善组织。
Bring something from home. Then donate a fiver to a charity that provides food for those who do not have the luxury of choice.
试着不吃
Try not eating
要么自带三明治,要么别吃。假设你家里橱柜里没有很多种做三明治的馅料,那么决定做什么三明治就应该不会花太多时间。
Either bring in your own sandwiches or fast. On the assumption that you do not have a vast array of sandwich fillings in your cupboard at home, it should not take too long to decide what to make.
偶尔禁食有利于身体的休整,还能帮助你减肥。
Fasting from time to time is good for the body's repair and helps you lose weight.