We have all, at one point or another, poisoned our own happiness, whether it be through worry, fear, or just poor decision making. Life can certainly throw a person into a tailspin but the real culprit isn’t the adversity, it’s how we perceive and respond to the adversity that determines the outcome. Sometimes it is simply a matter of wrong motives in life that can lead us down the venomous path, rather than the path that leads to the antidote.
我们每个人偶尔都会毒害自己的幸福,无论是通过担忧,恐惧或者糟糕的决定。生活有时会使我们陷入困境,但真正的罪魁祸首并不是逆境本身,决定结果的是我们对逆境的理解,对逆境作出的反应。有时生活中错误的动机会导致我们走上困难重重的道路,而不是找到解决方法的道路。
1. Your jealousy can ruin any relationship.
1.嫉妒会摧毁任何恋情。
Your better off dealing with jealousy head on when it rears its ugly head. Most people don’t want to admit when they have been bitten by the green-eyed monster but it can happen from time to time. There are people who exude jealousy to the point that it ruins relationships. It usually stems from feelings of inadequacy, and those are the things that a person must take a hard look at in order to salvage their relationships. A happy person is one who is free from jealousy and it shows in healthy relationships.
当嫉妒情绪出现时,你最好昂首面对。大部分人被嫉妒情绪吞噬时并不想承认,但嫉妒却是经常出现的。有人嫉妒情绪显露无遗,以至于摧毁恋情。嫉妒情绪通常源于不满足感,为了挽救你们的恋情,你必须认真反省。幸福的人从不嫉妒,这在健康的恋情中可以反映出来。
2. Your desire for superficial things in life can poison happiness.
2.对肤浅事物的渴望会毒害幸福。
It is often said that the happiest people are those who do more for others, rather than themselves. If you're the type of person that pursues the superficial things of life: wealth, cars, name brand clothes, etc. then it is safe to say that you are poisoning your own happiness in life. The desire of the perfunctory will only lead to more dissatisfaction because our brain is hard-wired at a threshold for such things; it’s called hedonistic adaptation. Living a life of modesty will bring you more happiness in the long run.
人们经常说,最幸福的人总是为他人做的多,而不是为自己。如果你追求生活中浮于表面的东西:财富,汽车,名牌服装等等,那么我可以肯定地说,你在破坏自己的幸福。对肤浅事物的渴望只会导致更多的不满足感,因为对于这些东西我们的大脑天生有一个临界值;所谓的享乐适应。质朴的生活将会带给你更长远的幸福。
3. Your grudge-holding will destroy your happiness.
3.怀恨在心会摧毁你的幸福。
I once knew a man who held a grudge against his father for leaving the family. His grudge festered within him like a cancer and destroyed any hope of his living life to the fullest. The Stoic philosophers believed that some things are out of our control, so in short, they aren’t worth worrying over or trying to fix. Happiness comes from moving forward in your life and letting go of grudges that would hold you back.
我曾经认识一个男子,因父亲离弃家庭而饱含恨意。他的怨恨像癌细胞一样在他的体内肆虐,完全破坏了所有的生活希望。斯多葛派哲学家认为有些事情不是我们能控制的,简言之,这些事情不值得担忧或试图解决。幸福来自于生活中不断前行,放下束缚你的怨恨。
4. Your regrets in life will destroy your peace.
4.生命中的遗憾会摧毁你的平和。
Your life most certainly will be filled with regrets from time to time; I call them mistakes. Mistakes are only there to teach you that a certain path has ended and so it is time to try another. There’s no use in looking back in regret, because you cannot change the past. Simply move forward and try another road. You will most certainly be happier for it.
生活肯定会不时地出现遗憾:我称之为错误。错误只是教育你一段路程已经结束,现在是时候尝试另外一段新的路程。回味遗憾毫无意义,因为你不能改变过去。义无反顾地继续前行,尝试另一条路,你肯定会更加幸福。
5. Your dependence on others will hinder happiness.
5.对他人的依赖会妨碍幸福。
If you are dependent person or to use another phrase, codependent on another person for your happiness, you will undoubtedly be waiting a very long time for a happy life. Happiness will never come to you from another person, it can only come from within yourself. You can find happiness with someone within a relationship, but that cannot be trusted for your own happiness, because at some point in time, that person will let you down. Looking within is the only way to true joy.
如果你依赖他人,或者换句话说,你的幸福依赖于他人,无疑需要很长时间才能实现幸福.。幸福不会从另一个人那里降临,只会来自你的内心。你可以从跟某个人的恋情中找到幸福,但你的幸福并不能得到保障,因为在某个时间,那人会让你失望。在自己的内心寻找才是真正快乐的唯一方式。
6. Your need to fix other people will ruin your happiness.
6.操控其他人的需要会毁了你的幸福。
This ties into co-dependence as well. If you feel the need to “fix” others, then you will never be focused on your own well-being and happiness. When your focus shifts away from the self, you will always find something that needs to be fixed in others in order to make you feel happy. The only person you can control is you; so why not focus on self-actualization for long-term happiness.
这也关系到相互依赖。如果你觉得需要操控别人,那么你将永远不会关注自身的幸福和快乐。当你转移焦点远离自我,为了使你幸福,你总要从别人那里寻找需要操控的事情。你唯一能控制的人就是你自己,那么为什么不把重点放在自我实现上,寻求长久的幸福呢。
7. Your fear can hold a person back from experiencing true happiness.
7.恐惧会阻碍你体验真正的幸福。
Ralph Waldo Emerson said “Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world.” It can stem from many places, but you will only experience true happiness when you release your fears and simply do the thing your are afraid of doing.
拉尔夫•瓦尔多•爱默生说,“与世界上任何事物相比,恐惧更能击溃人类。”它可以起源于许多地方,但只有你释放恐惧情绪,做你害怕的事情,你才能体验到真正的幸福。
8. Your selfishness is a poison to your happiness.
8.自私对幸福来说是一种毒药。
If your a selfish person, it means you always want things your way and others’ needs and opinions are often discarded in the process. Most people do not want to be in relationship with a selfish person and if this describes you, you may just find yourself alone and unhappy if it is not changed. Take a good look at yourself and examine areas of your life that have fallen prey to selfishness and make the necessary changes; you may find happiness was waiting for you all along.
如果你是一个自私的人,这意味着你总是希望事情按照你的方式发展,其他人的需要和意见则常被忽略。大多数人不想跟自私的人保持关系,如果你就是这样,倘若不作出改变,你会发现自己孤独而不幸。仔细反省自己,审视你的生活中深受自私之害的地方,并做出必要的改变,你会发现幸福一直等待着你。
9. Your happiness will wane when you set unreasonably high expectations of others.
9.对他人期望过高,你的幸福会减弱。
Your need for everyone to meet your standards in life is an unreasonable expectation that most people will never be able to attain; therefore, you will most always be disappointed in people and thus unhappy in life. All people have their own personality type which will prevent them from ever being able to live up to what you expect of them. They cannot do it. When you let go of the expectation of others to perform to your standards, you will find that they, as well as yourself, will be much more elated. A free person is a happy person.
希望生活中的每个人都能达到你的标准是一种不合理的期望,大多数人将永远无法做到。所以,你将总是对周围的人感到失望,并因此生活得不快乐。所有人都有自己的性格,这使他们不能符合你的期望。他们做不到。当你不再让别人执行你的标准来满足你的期望,你会发现他们和你自己都会更加开心。自由的人是快乐的。
10. Your self-righteous attitude will halt your happiness.
10.自以为是的态度会终止你的幸福。
If your a self-righteous person it means that you feel you can do no wrong, and that other people are always in the wrong. I used to attend church and always felt this type of attitude amongst the people, which in turn made for a lot of unhappiness in many of the people’s relationships. It is impossible to be perfect all of the time, so why not do drop your self-righteousness and experience true happiness. Not only will your relationships flourish but you will be a much more relaxed individual.
如果你是自以为是的人,这意味着你认为自己永远没有错,其他人永远是错的一方。我曾参加过教会活动,总觉得生活中很多人都持这种态度,从而导致许多人的关系中存在诸多不快乐的因素。所有时间都保持完美是不可能的,所以为什么不抛开你的自以为是,体验真正的幸福呢。这不仅会使你的人际关系蓬勃发展,而且将使你成为一个更轻松的人。
11. Your living in the past will hinder happiness.
11.沉湎于过去会妨碍幸福。
If you're living in the past, it means that you are unhappy with the present. Your happiness is a current state of mind and if your life is not making you happy, then maybe it is time to examine your situation and makes some changes for the better. Maybe you need a new career goal? Maybe it’s time to finish a project you’ve been putting off? Whatever the case, moving forward in life will help you feel that you are living in the “now.”
如果你沉湎于过去,这意味着你现在并不开心。幸福是当前的精神状态,如果你的生活不能让你快乐,那么也许是时候审视自己的处境,为更好的生活做出改变了。也许你需要一个新的职业目标?也许是时候来完成一个你拖延已久的项目?无论如何,在生活中不断前行会让你觉得生活在“现在”。
12. Your dishonesty can dampen happiness.
12.不诚实会抑制幸福。
If you are a dishonest person, chances are you have alienated yourself from others. Often times, people who are dishonest gain the reputation as someone who cannot be trusted; therefore, they are seen as an unfaithful friend and partner. Alienating yourself through dishonesty will surely lead to unhappiness and isolation.
如果你是一个不诚实的人,你会使自己与他人疏远。通常,不诚实的人会让人认为不可信任;因此,他们被看作是不忠实的朋友或伙伴。因不诚实将自己疏远,必将导致不幸和孤立。
13. Your substance use alters states of happiness.
13.物质滥用改变幸福的状态。
Some may disagree but even if you use substances for temporary states of “happiness” it will be short-lived and once the high wears off, your feelings of unhappiness will be there, staring you in the face. Even for those who use chocolate and caffeine as means of escape, must admit that the euphoria is short-lived.
有些人可能不认同,但即使你使用物质得到短暂的“快乐”,也只是昙花一现,一旦兴奋逐渐减弱,你就会感到不快乐。即使那些用巧克力和咖啡因作为逃避手段的人也必须承认,兴奋是短暂的。
14. Your pessimism leads to perpetual moods of unhappiness.
14.悲观情绪会导致永久的不幸。
It is thought that if you are the type of person that always has the pessimistic attitude it can lead to a life of unhappiness. In a sense, your words and thoughts have power to them and if you constantly use “negative talk” it’s like sending negative vibes out into the world. Thus, unhappiness appears to follow you around like a virus that won’t go away. The medicine for pessimism is to become aware of your negativity and work to change your thoughts and words for the better. Read, exercise, take up a hobby, whatever you need to feel better about yourself is worth a try.
人们认为,如果你总是持有悲观的态度,就会导致生活不幸福。从某种意义上说,你的言语和想法是具有魔力的,如果你经常使用“否定说”,就会向外在世界发射出消极的频率波动。因此,不幸就好像病毒一样跟随你,永不消失。治疗悲观情绪的药物就是意识到你的消极态度,向更好的方向去改变思维和言语。阅读,锻炼,养成一种爱好,无论需要什么,只要能让你自我感觉更好就值得一试。
15. Your prejudice of other people can make you unhappy with yourself.
15.对其他人的偏见会让自己不开心。
You would think that if someone is prejudiced against a group of people, it means they are unhappy with that group but quite the opposite is true. A prejudiced person is often an unhappy person, spewing their unhappiness onto a “scapegoat” group of people. Prejudiced people look for instances in which to unleash their fury onto others. They think it will somehow make them feel better, but it won’t. If you find that you are prejudiced (and we do all have certain prejudices), it may be time to sit down and really take stock in yourself and confront these issues head on; you will be glad you did.
你可能会认为,如果有人对一群人怀有偏见,这意味着他们对这一群人都感到不满。但事实恰恰相反。有偏见的人往往是不幸福的人,把他们的不快发泄在“替罪羊”群体中。有偏见的人寻找机会来将他们的愤怒宣泄到别人身上。他们认为这会让他们感觉更好,但是事实并非如此。如果你发现你有偏见(我们所有人都会有一些偏见),可能是时候坐下来,反省自己,直面这些问题:你会很高兴你做到了。
16. Your self-doubt can lead to feelings of unhappiness.
16.自我怀疑会导致不快乐的感觉。
If you doubt yourself consistently, it would stand to reason that it will lead you to feelings of unhappiness. A self-doubter may engage in negative self-talk which leads to deeper and deeper feelings of unhappiness. It’s a vicious cycle that needs to be addressed with a close friend or counselor who may be able to help you through these feelings. Maybe finding a positive outlet in which to volunteer your time can boost your self-worth as well, and take your mind off yourself for a change.
如果你一贯怀疑自己,显然会导致你心情不快。自我怀疑的人会消极地自我否定,导致越来越严重的不快乐的感觉。这是一个恶性循环,需要一个亲密的朋友或辅导员来帮助你处理,帮助你克服这些情绪。也许找到一个积极的情感宣泄方式,无偿付出你的时间,这既可以提升自我价值感,又可以把你的注意力从自己身上转移。
17. Your unhappiness can stem from unchecked mental health.
17.不幸福来自不健康的心理。
If you suffer from anxiety or depression, it isn’t hard to figure that unhappiness follows. What causes these mental imbalances? Often the society we engage in daily is enough to send anyone into states of unhappiness by way of anxiety and other mental illnesses. Sometimes there are more serious issues at hand but unhappiness is robbed all the same. Take time and talk with someone in whom you trust who can help you sort through life’s mishaps. When in doubt seek professional help.
如果你患有焦虑症或抑郁症,就不难发现不幸也会随之而来。是什么原因导致心理失衡?通常我们每天接触的社会足以通过焦虑和其他精神疾病让人处于不快乐的境地。有时也会遇到更严重的问题,但毫无例外都会被不快乐缠绕。花时间和你信任的人聊天可以帮助你度过生活中的小灾难。怀疑的时候寻求专业帮助。
18. Your pet can help ward off happiness poisons.
18.宠物可以帮助抵御不幸。
Pets are a wonderful way to boost your happiness. If you are someone who doesn’t like or doesn’t want a pet, think about volunteering at a place with animals or some other outlet in order to introduce yourself to the appropriate ways to interact with pets. It has been found that when petting an animal, a person’s mood automatically lifts.
宠物是提升幸福感的好方法。如果你不喜欢或不想养宠物,可以考虑到有动物的地方做志愿者,或者通过其他途径让自己以恰当的方式与动物互动。已有研究表明当宠爱动物时,一个人的心情会自动改善。
19. Your ability to volunteer your time to the needy can help you become happier.
19.献出时间给有需要的人可以让你更幸福。
Giving your time to those in need will help cure the unhappiness in your life. Sometimes seeing those less fortunate than yourself helps put things in perspective.
把自己的时间奉献给有需要的人可以帮助你治愈生活中的不幸。有时看着那些比自己更加不幸的人,可以帮助你用正确的角度看待事物。
20. Your stress can prevent happiness in your life.
20.压力会妨碍幸福。
Stress is not only unhealthy for your physical well-being but emotional as well. If you are the type of person who has constant stress in your life, it may be time to make drastic changes. Take inventory of your life and get rid of the unnecessary. Living a life of simplicity can sometimes be just the thing you need to prevent stress and improve your happiness.
压力不仅不利于身体健康,也会使精神不健康。如果你的生活经常充满压力,或许是时候来做彻底的改变了。盘点你的生活并清空不必要的事情。有时预防压力,提高幸福感只需过简单的生活就可以了。
I hope you find these insights to be of use in your life. If you find that your happiness is being poisoned, maybe one of these tips is the culprit. In any case, seek happiness from within. Meditate, read, pray, exercise, whatever you need to improve yourself, and happiness is sure to follow.
我希望这些见解对你的生活有所帮助。如果你发现你的幸福被毒害了,也许上述其中一个就是罪魁祸首。无论在任何情况下,从内心追求幸福。冥想,阅读,祈祷,运动,从事任何你需要的活动来提高自己,幸福一定会到来。