If you're suffering depression, humor can change your state of mind. Cultivating a humorous mindset helps you see yourself and any situation with a more supple mind so that you are not locked into a negative view.

Humor doesn't typically come to mind in the same breath as depression. But humor can be an important ally in getting beyond the rigidity of thinking that accompanies depression and keeps people locked into a depressed state of mind.

One goal of cognitive therapy is to change your perspective, your point of view. Humor is one way to change your view viscerally—and enjoyably.

Cultivating a humorous mindset helps you see yourself and any situation with a more supple mind so that you are not locked into a negative view. Depression is both caused by and causes the inability to see options and choices we otherwise would.

Take a common situation: someone feels very depressed in the wake of having failed at something. They cancel plans and withdraw from social opportunities. They don't feel "up to it." Under the surface, perhaps out of view of the conscious mind, the person might feel that the failure disqualifies him from the human race. However, turning around and asking out loud, "Does that disqualify me from the human race?" is humorous. It highlights the absurdity of the extreme conclusion.

We're not talking stand-up comedy, but insight-oriented commentary, achieved via anecdote and metaphor. You might feel down from a cutting remark your spouse made. But you could ask yourself: Does that "cutting" remark draw blood? Noting the metaphor puts it in its place—an obnoxious comment, but not a searing one.

Humor fosters acceptance of our humanness and our foibles. It is not sarcasm or put-downs. What we are looking for is gentle, playful perspective that embraces humanness but never at the expense of others—or of ourselves. The goal is not to take life too seriously.

So how to foster good humor?

Choose to allow yourself to laugh at your own behaviors and beliefs—but not at yourself. Make that distinction clearly.
See your life not as a distraught drama but as a romantic comedy. Recognize the inherent farce-like quality in situations including sex and relationships.

Cultivating humor not only makes life more bearable, it makes you more attractive to others. Study upon study shows that a sense of humor is high up on the list of traits that most people seek in a partner.

Insert silliness. Fill your life with one goofy thing a day. Make an unusual observation about someone. Or do something you normally wouldn't do. Wear something silly. You will learn that nothing terrible happens—and you may also discover that something good often happens.

Puncture a rigid mindset with a mental exercise called "paradoxical intention."

Suppose you have to give a speech and you are unduly anxious about looking uncomfortable. You can overcome the fear of failure by deliberately focusing on it and humorously exaggerating the very effects you fear.

Say you are worried about having to speak publicly and sweating profusely. Deliberately imagine a humorous situation where you are—literally—sweating like a fountain and spewing enough to drown the first row of the audience. Accept that you sweat like a fountain; imagine it and then think, what is the worst that could happen?

Exaggeration is funny because it skewers the falsehood. If you fail at a test or perform poorly at an audition, you could erroneously call yourself a failure. That, however, is an overgeneralization. Alternatively, you could see yourself as someone who failed at this particular thing, but in no way does that stamp you forever in this way.

Find the humor by saying, this makes me an utter wretch, a failure now and forever, a doomed and worthless subhuman, because I didn't get the part that I wanted or my partner isn't giving me the attention I want. Get into the exaggeration until you see the absurdity of seeing yourself as a "total failure."

Walk down the street remembering that people are nude under their clothes. It reduces fear of others. Such thoughts can take people of high status from deity to human. It helps to remember that everyone yells at their kids, spills ketchup, goes to the bathroom.

Play to an audience. Think of stories and items that would make others laugh.

Be sensitive to the words you use. They can rigidify or help loosen up your thinking.

Create cute, funny neologisms with your partner. Call it goofifying. Creating your own funny expressions for your experiences makes you more flexible and allows you to interpret and assess reality better.

Smile. Here's a favorite silly joke I can't resist passing along: What does an agnostic, dyslexic insomniac do? Stays up all night and wonders if there is a dog.

如果你正遭受抑郁之苦，幽默可以改变你的心理状态。培养幽默的心态有助于你看清自己，并且在任何情况下都能够有一个善于适应的头脑，这样就不会被局限在消极的观点中无法自拔。

幽默一般并不和抑郁同期而至。但是，幽默可能是摆脱僵固思想的重要帮手。僵固思想伴随着沮丧、抑郁，让人局限于抑郁的心理状态。

认知疗法的一个目标是改变你的看法和观点。幽默是从内心改变你的观点的一种方法——而且是愉快地改变你的观点。

培养幽默的心态有助于你看清自己，并且在任何情况下都能够有一个善于适应的头脑，这样就不会被局限在消极的观点中。抑郁既是由于不能让我们另外看到选项和选择所引起，它也造成不能让我们另外看到选项和选择。

拿一个普通的情况：某人由于某件事遭遇失败而感到非常沮丧。他取消了计划，退出了社交机会。他感到无能为力。本质上，也许在意识之外，这人可能感到失败让他丧失了做人的资格。然而换个角度，大声的问自己：“这真地让我丧失做人资格吗？”这就是幽默。这突出了极端性结论的荒谬。

我们不是在谈论独角喜剧，而是通过轶事和隐喻实现的顿悟取向的评论。你可能会因为配偶的尖刻话语而闷闷不乐。但是你可以问自己：那些“尖刻的”话让你流血了吗？记录隐喻可以把这放到合适的位置上——可憎的批评，但不是撕心裂肺的。

幽默感鼓励接纳人性和弱点。这不是讽刺挖苦或满不在乎。我们寻求的是一种温和的、打趣的知觉，拥护人性，从以不损害别人或自己为代价。目标是让生活不要那么严肃。

那么，怎样培养良好的幽默感呢？
·让自己嘲笑自己的行为和信念——但不是嘲笑自己。分清两者的区别。

不要把生活看成悲剧，把它看成烂漫的喜剧。承认与生俱来的荒唐滑稽事情——就像性、爱情之类一样。

培养幽默感不仅可以让人更能忍受生活，还可以让人变得更有魅力。诸多研究表明，人们在寻求另一半的时候，普遍认为他/她对幽默的感知是一项重要的特性。

·做点蠢事。每天都做点蠢事。对别人进行与众不同的观察，或者做些你通常不会去做的事情，比如穿身愚蠢的衣服。你会发现，这不会有什么糟糕至极的事情发生——恰恰相反，常常会有好事情发生。

·做一个叫做“矛盾的意图”的思维练习，打破刻板的习惯。

假设你不得不去做演讲，你看上去不自在，你对此很焦虑。你可以把注意力集中在对失败的担心上，幽默的夸大你担心的结果，借此来克服担心。

说你担心在公共场合演讲，你感到汗流浃背。故意想象这样一个幽默的场景：你像喷泉一样在流汗，涌出的汗水淹没了第一排观众。承认自己像喷泉那样流汗；想象这个场景，并想一想：如果那样最糟会如何？

·这种夸张很滑稽，因为它很好的讽刺了那些谬误。如果你考试失败，或者在观众面前表现糟糕，于是你错误的把自己称之为失败者。这是过分概括。换个角度，你可以把自己看作是在某些特定方面失败的人，但一着不慎绝不会全盘皆输。

你可以这样说来发现幽默：这让我变成了一个全然可怜的人，永远的失败者，命中注定的毫无价值的非人类，我无法实现理想，父母也不会注意到我。

·接着往下，记住，每个人的衣服下面同样都是赤裸裸。这减少了对别人的担心。这种想法把“人”放到了“神”之上。这有助于记住：每个人都会为孩子欢呼，都会溢出番茄酱，都会上厕所。

·扮演听众。想想可能引人发笑的故事和题目。

·对你的用词敏感一些。用词可能僵化你的思维或者有助于放松你的思维。

·和你的搭档创造一些可爱的、有趣的新词。比如goofifying。对你的经历创造独有的有趣表达方式使你你更为灵活，并且让你能更好地解释和评估现实。

·微笑。这有个备受欢迎的笑话，我不禁要告诉给大家：不可知论者、诵读困难的失眠患者做什么呢？整夜呆着，并且怀疑是否那儿有一条狗。