It's not easy talking to a relative or friend who is dying. What if you say the wrong thing? But dying can be an isolating business if your friends and relatives are too scared to speak to you. Be yourself, but talk less and listen more.

    1. Most people will know they are dying - these days doctors tell them. This doesn't mean they only want to talk about that; take your cue from them. "How are you feeling?" is often enough to start a conversation. If they are scared, don't tell them not to worry. Ask for specifics - people often fear the process of dying and worry how those they love will manage afterwards. Ask how you can help.

    2. Try to avoid saying you know how they feel - you really don't. But it's fine to tell someone you love them and will miss them, as is crying.

    3. If they are close to you, you could suggest ways in which you can remember them; putting together a box of memories or making a DVD of them. Discussing your shared history and what you've meant to each other can be comforting for both of you.

    4. Talking about dying is not obligatory - some people and cultures shy away from it. It's also fine to sit quietly.

    5. Psychologist Susan Wright advises allowing the person to feel they are still alive. "Don't make everything about how awful it is. When someone is dying the quality of their life is very important."

    与垂死的亲人或朋友谈话实属不易。若是你讲错了什么话怎么办？可如果你的朋友和亲人非常害怕和你谈话，等死就会是孤独无助的事情。所以，做好你自己，要少说话、多倾听。

    1. 很多人都会知道他们自己将死--因为现在的医生会告诉他们。但这不意味着他们只想和你去谈论死亡，你该学学他们。用"你感觉怎样？"来开始谈话就足够了。如果他们害怕，就别告诉他们不要担心。问问他们的具体要求--人们常常恐惧死亡的过程并担心所爱之人如何处理后事。问问你能提供什么帮助吧。

    2.尽量避免说你知道他们的感觉如何--其实你真的不知道。但你哽咽着告诉他你是爱他的并会怀念他，这是可以的。

    3.如果他们亲近你，你可以和他们讨论一下你会用什么方式纪念他们--和他们一起制作记忆盒或者为他们制作DVD.谈论你们共同经历过的事情以及及你们对彼此意味着什么，这可以安抚你们双方。

    4.谈论死亡不是必须，某些人和有的文化会回避它。默默静坐就好。

    5.心理学家苏珊·莱特（Susan Wright ）建议令这个人去感觉自己还活着。"不要总把每件事情都和（死亡）有多可怕扯上关系。当某人将死，他的生活质量是非常重要的。"