ONLINE social networks are handy not just as a means of wasting time but also as a communications tool for business. Dell, a computer-maker, has made $3m in sales from Twitter since it started "tweeting" about its outlet that sells refurbished computers in 2007. Marketers are eager to use fast-growing networks to tout their products. An Australian online-marketing company, uSocial, wants to help them-for a price. On September 16th the firm started selling Facebook friends and fans.

    After trawling Facebook for users by criteria like age, location and interests, uSocial then recommends potential friends to companies, who approach them directly. A firm pays $727 for each 5,000 users who agree to be its friend, or 15 cents each. "Fans", who merely express support for a firm, are cheaper.

    It is not the first time uSocial has tried to sell the benefits of popular online destinations to marketers. It sells votes on websites such as Digg, which let people share content and vote on which articles should appear on the site's front page. It also sells Twitter "followers" （people who follow a user's updates） to companies looking for some positive buzz. Those websites disapprove. So does Facebook, which may try to bar uSocial from its service.

    Social networks provide "the most powerful form of advertising there is", claims Leon Hill, uSocial's boss. But not everyone thinks uSocial's idea of selling friends makes for good marketing. Andrew Petersen of the Kenan-Flagler Business School at the University of North Carolina reckons that purchasing friends or fans does not establish brand loyalty and may actually hurt a firm's image by making it seem desperate.

    Websites like Twitter and Facebook might lose some of their popularity if users feel they have become a forum for advertising rather than gossip. It is also in their interest to make sure uSocial does not claim profits that could be theirs. Facebook, which said on September 15th that it has 300m users, has struggled to make money from them. It recently launched a type of advertising that allows companies to target potential customers by letting users click on an advert to become that company's fan. The new offering from uSocial competes directly with this revenue source. No wonder uSocial does not have many friends of its own.

    首先要理解"交流是你所获的反应".这就是说，关键在于如何表达，使对方能准确理解你所说的一切。假如你说的是为了要让对方感觉良好，但却适得其反，惹对方生气，那就是交流失策。我们须不停地观察对方，根据所得反应（反馈）来调整我们的交流策略。能够留意反馈并做出适当调整，我们就会大有改进。

    下一步是要有明确的目标。大多数人总是东拉西扯的毫无真正的目标。然而，每当事情不能"随心所欲"时，他们就感到惊讶或甚至于闷闷不乐。发言时要有一个目标，并且，不要做出任何与该目标背道而驰的言行。你若集中注意力，谈话不离题，你就能达到目标。

    另一个大好策略是帮人消愁解闷。称赞时要含蓄，须真诚。承认对方在谈话中提出的观点，因为人们既喜欢又需要得到确认。显示你对他人的关心与赏识：这可是一个搞好关系的窍门。

    实习"会话的慷慨".你若要令人喜欢或要具有引响力，就让别人多发言。须知道，与我们谈话的对方会很自然的感觉我们说话的时间比实际用的时间长。你若用了谈话的一半时间，你等于是滔滔不绝地"占用"了整个谈话时间。你若用了四成时间，你的谈话伙伴觉得那是"均衡"的谈话。你说话时间若是三成或较短，你会被认为是既慷慨和具有吸引力，而又是一位好听者。最易于让人喜欢的其中一个方法是做一个好听者。人们巴不得别人在洗耳恭听。奇妙的是，你说的越少，人们听的越多，并且会牢牢记住你的话。不妨试试看！