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Churchill
10. An English Comeback 英式反驳
Nancy Astor was an American socialite who married into the wealthy English family of Astor. She actually was the first woman to be elected to Parliament, which makes her humiliation all the sweeter. She was invited to 1912 a dinner party located in the Churchill estate, but, unfortunately for her, she became extremely annoyed at a drunk and politically incorrect Winston Churchill. Finally, she exclaimed the following: “Winston, if you were my husband, I’d put poison in your coffee.” Unaffected by her sudden outburst, Churchill moderately and quickly replied with a great comeback:
南茜•阿斯特是嫁入英国阿斯特家族的美国名媛，事实上她也是第一位入选国会的女性，这样看起来虽然她在丘吉尔面前丢脸了，也无伤大雅。1912年，南茜受邀到丘吉尔的府邸参加晚宴，不过她很不幸，她对着喝醉的丘吉尔，再想到与其在政治上的意见分歧，越发恼火，最后南茜说出下面这句话：“温斯顿，你要是我丈夫，我早在你的咖啡里下毒了。”可是丘吉尔对南茜的突然爆发表现得无动于衷，他很快很平常地回了一句：
“Nancy, if you were my wife I’d drink it.”
“南茜，你要是我夫人，我肯定会喝的。”
Coolidge
9. The Best Presidential Comeback 最佳总统式反驳
The next situation involves the 30th US president, Calvin Coolidge. He was a relatively quiet man and was known for his brevity, though the few words he had made quite an impression, especially with this wonderful comeback. After an after-dinner recital, an acclaimed and heavily respected opera singer was invited to the White House. But apparently performing for the president was quite a frightening experience and her performance left much to be desired. During the performance, one of the White Houses’s guests leaned over and whispered to Coolidge: “What do you think of the singer’s execution?” Coolidge calmly replied:
下面这个是关于美国第三十任总统卡尔文•柯立芝的轶事。柯立芝是个相当安静的人，语言简洁，不过虽然寥寥数语，但让人印象深刻，尤其是下面这句精彩的反驳。一次餐后独奏会后，白宫邀请了一位大受欢迎德高望重的歌剧演唱家来表演。不过对于这位演唱家来说，为总统表演绝对是次胆战心惊的经历，所以她的演唱乏善可陈。在演出途中，一位白宫的客人靠过来跟柯立芝悄悄说道：“您觉得这位演唱家表现得怎么样？”柯立芝很冷静地回答道：
“I’m all for it.”
“我完全赞成你的观点。”
Ghandi
8. The Obvious Comeback 最明显的反驳
Mohandas Gandhi is associated with civil rights and nonviolence, but most definitely not wit. As the following story will show you, Gandhi didn’t have to fight with his fists, but simply had to use his words. After gaining fame for a campaign to promote colonial India’s independence, Gandhi traveled to London and met with British authorities. The British were wonderfully curious about this strange little man, and Gandhi was constantly bombarded with questions from the press and photographers. One day, a reporter cried out, “What do you think of Western civilization?” And in a monumental moment that would define Gandhi’s reputation, he replied:
人们总是把莫汉达斯•甘地和公民权利、非暴力运动这些联系在一起，而绝对不会跟机智挂上钩。下面这个故事告诉你，甘地不需要用拳头战斗，简单的言语就可以。由于推行殖民地印度的独立运动，甘地名声大噪，他去英国旅行时跟英国的当地官员见面。英国人对这个奇怪的小男人相当好奇，甘地频频收到来自报社和摄像师的问题的狂轰乱炸。有次有个记者问道：“你对西方文明有什么看法？“在这样一个和他的名声息息相关的重要时刻，甘地回答道：
“I think it would be a good idea.”
“我觉得这个想法是很好。”
Ali
7. The “Greatest” Comeback 最“伟大”的反驳
Muhammad Ali once took a flight on Eastern Airlines in the 1970s. A flight attendant was making her final checks on the passengers, but noticed Ali failed to fasten his seat belt. She kindly asked him to do so, but Ali replied quite arrogantly, “Superman don’t’ need no seat belt.” Not intimidated by the boxer’s reputation and fame, the flight attendant replied:
20世纪70年代，拳王阿里曾经搭乘过东方航空公司的飞机。一位空姐在对乘客进行最后的检查时，发现阿里没有系上安全带。空姐很和蔼地提醒阿里，但是我们的拳王态度傲慢地回答道：“超人不需要安全带。”这位空姐完全没有被拳王的名气吓到，她依然语气和蔼地回答道：
“Superman don’t need no airplane either.”
“超人也不需要坐飞机。”
Oscar
6. The Wildest and Best Comeback by Oscar Wilde王尔德最大胆最好的反驳
Oscar Wilde was widely known for his wit and intelligence in plays, but he was no stranger to it in real-life. After one performance of one of his plays, Wilde went on stage and welcomed a warm reception. Many people applauded and threw a copious amount of beautiful flora, but one unsatisfied person threw a rotten cabbage at the playwright. Wilde picked it up and replied with a straight face:
奥斯卡•王尔德因为在戏剧创作方面的机智和才华广为人知，不过在现实生活中，王尔德也同样是一个机智过人的人。在一次他的剧作搬上舞台的演出后，王尔德上台致谢，受到了大家的热烈欢迎。许多人鼓掌，还把许多漂亮的植物投掷到舞台上。不过有位观众似乎不满意，朝剧作家扔了一颗烂白菜。王尔德捡起白菜，脸上没什么表情的说道：
“Thank you my friend. Every time I smell it, I shall be reminded of you.”
“谢谢你我的朋友，每次我闻到它，我肯定会想起你。”
Beecher
5. This is America Comeback 美式反驳
Henry Ward Beecher was an abolitionist who liked to speak his mind. When the Civil War took its start, Beecher traveled throughout the US attempting to gather up support and favor for Lincoln and his Emancipation Proclamation. He said that the Union would beat the Confederates in sixty days during his travels; and when he made a trip to England, this was used against him. At that time, war was still a very sensitive topic among the British, due to the Americans winning the Revolutionary War. While he was speaking in Manchester, one hostile man cried out: “Why didn’t you whip the Confederates in sixty days, as you said you would?” He hesitated only for a second, but then replied:
亨利•沃德•比彻是一位废奴主义者，他总是想要说出自己的观点。美国内战刚刚开始的时候，比彻在美国大陆四处奔波，希望能够聚集人们对当时总统林肯和《解放黑奴宣言》的支持和赞同情绪。他在美国的时候表示联邦军（北军）会在六十天内打败同盟军（南军）。等他到英国的时候，英国人就拿这句话来针对他。在当时的英国，因为美国人打赢了独立战争，战争是个敏感话题。当比彻在曼彻斯特发表演说的时候，有人充满敌意地发难道：“你说会在六十天内打败同盟军，怎么到现在还未能取胜？”比彻犹豫了一秒然后回答道：
“Because we found we had Americans to fight this time, not Englishmen.”
“因为我们发现这次我们的对手是美国人，而不是英国人。”
Churchill
4. Churchill’s Honest Comeback 丘吉尔最诚实的反驳
Winston Churchill makes this list again. In his early career, he was at a meeting and another member was giving a long-winded speech. Churchill began to close his eyes and fall asleep. At the sight of this, the member became visibly angry and shouted: “Mr. Churchill, must you fall asleep while I’m speaking?” Instead of making attempts at an apology or a cover-up, Churchill simply replied:
温斯顿•丘吉尔再次出现在我们的榜单中。在他的早期职业生涯中，有次他出席会议，有人发表一篇冗长啰嗦的演讲。丘吉尔就闭上眼睛睡着了。演讲者看到这一幕肯定很生气，就喊道：“丘吉尔先生，你非要在我讲话的时候睡着吗？”丘吉尔没有试图道歉或掩饰一下，他只是简单地回答道：
“No, it’s purely voluntary.”
“不，这完全是无意识的。”
Lincoln
3. The Best Self-Effacing Comeback 最佳谦让反驳
Abraham Lincoln was not the most attractive presidents but he was in a sense, almost fascinatingly ugly. During a debate, Lincoln was accused by his more hostile opponent of being two-faced. Lincoln managed to accomplish what few men have done before, he defended himself without insulting the other man, and even poked fun at a flaw of his all in the same sentence. Lincoln calmly turned to the crowd and said:
亚伯拉罕•林肯不是美国历史上最迷人的总统，不过从某种意义上来说，他丑得很有魅力。在一次辩论中，对方发言很是咄咄逼人，他指责林肯是个两面派。林肯完成了很少有人实现的壮举，他没有侮辱对方就为自己做了辩护，还在话里对自己的缺陷开起了玩笑。他很冷静地面对人群然后说道：
“If I had two faces, do you think I’d be wearing this one?”
“如果我有两张脸，你觉得为什么我现在脸是这样？”
Churchill
2.The Classic Comeback from the King of the Comebacks反驳帝的经典反驳
Winston Churchill makes this list again for a third time, proving him to truly be one of the world’s wittiest people. Attending a party in London, Churchill once again was drunk and intoxicated. An obviously extremely astute woman from Parliament, like Nancy Astor (the first entry), apparently was irritated by Churchill’s mannerisms. When she finally had enough, she came up to him and yelled: “Winston, you’re drunk!” He may have been drunk but that apparently didn’t affect his cognitive functions as he merely replied:
温斯顿•丘吉尔第三次出现在我们的榜单中，证明了他真的是世界上最机智的人之一。一次在伦敦参加晚会，丘吉尔又一次喝得酩酊大醉。有一位像南茜•阿斯特一样极其聪明的国会女性，被丘吉尔的举止无状给激怒了。她走到丘吉尔面前叫道：“温斯顿，你喝多了！”丘吉尔也许是真的喝多了，但这明显不会影响他的认知功能。因为他简单回答道：
“You’re right Bessie, and you’re ugly. But tomorrow morning, I’ll be sober.”
“贝茜你说的对，还有，你长得真丑。不过明天早上我的酒就醒了。”
Cosgrove
1.The Might-Not-Have-Happened Comeback 不该发生的反驳
This final comeback needs no explanation nor introduction. One only needs to read the interview excerpt for him/herself to understand its greatness.
最后一个最佳反驳不需要解释也不需要介绍，你只要自己读读下面的采访摘要，就会明白这个反驳有多棒：
Female Interviewer: So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
女采访者：斯格罗夫将军，这些年轻孩子来基地参观的时候，你准备教他们些什么呢？
General Cosgrove: We’re going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.
斯格罗夫将军：我们会教他们攀岩、划艇、射箭还有射击。
Female Interviewer: Shooting! That’s a bit irresponsible, isn’t it?
女采访者：射击？这会不会不太保险啊？
General Cosgrove: I don’t see why, they’ll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
斯格罗夫将军：不会啊，我们会在步枪打靶场密切指导他们的。
Female Interviewer: Don’t you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
女采访者：你不觉得教小朋友射击是很相当危险的行为吗？
General Cosgrove: I don’t see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
斯格罗夫将军：不会啊，在让他们摸抢之前，我们会教他们进行正确的步枪训练。
Female Interviewer: But you’re equipping them to become violent killers.
女采访者：你是在将他们训练成残暴的杀手。
General Cosgrove: Well, Ma’am, you’re equipped to be a prostitute, but you’re not one, are you?
斯格罗夫将军：呐，女士，别人也训练你成妓女，你现在也不是啊。
