My partner is taking a class in psychology and one assignment asks her to write a paper answering the question “What makes life worth living?”

For the past few days, she’s been asking the people around her – kids, friends, co-workers – what they think makes life worth living, and the answers have been pretty much of a sort: family, friends, work, music, some possession or other, faith, maybe health. computer games.

Although these answers aren’t necessarily trivial, they strike me as very unsatisfying answers to the question “What makes life wort living?” What about family, friends, work, etc. makes life worth living? Just having them?

Then why aren’t most people – who generally have families, friends, and jobs – happier than they are? Why, indeed, do we live in a society where anti-depressants are among the most profitable medications? Why are the bookstore shelves packed with books explaining how to be happier?

I think there’s a resistance to answering a question like this honestly. Sure, being put on the spot and asked one of the most profound questions humanity has managed to come up with is probably not exactly conducive to thoughtful responses, either, but I doubt she’d get much better responses if she gave them a week to think about it.

It’s the same resistance I see when people talk about the GTD weekly review. We’re pretty much ok with going over our tasks and doing some short-range planning, but when Allen insists we take that “50,000 foot view” of our lives – the Big Picture view – people tend to come up short.

And when Allen insists, over and over in virtually every interview with him I’ve ever heard or read, that we ask ourselves, “Is what I’m doing right now the most important thing I could be doing in my life?” I see the same resistance. Who am I kidding? I feel the same resistance. Maybe I’m cleaning up dog poop in the backyard, or playing BrickBreaker on my Blackberry – is that really the most important thing I could be doing?

Probably not.

But it strikes me as a really important question. What does make life worth living? And I think the reason people answer in such unsatisfying ways is that we’ve grown so used to defining ourselves in terms of possessions – possessions that literally feel like extensions of our self – that it’s hard to think of even the people close to us in any way other than as possessions, as “objects” with certain qualities that make us happy. Or, more often, don’t.

Which is to say, they’re all “things” that are external to us, no matter how much a part of our life they feel like. I think any question of what makes life worth living has to start with an inward look at one’s self, not an outward look at the people and things one surrounds one’s self with.

Instead, I think we need to address the question with our own actions, the things we do that make life worth living. Verbs, not nouns. When I think of how I would answer the question, the following behaviors come to mind:

* Creating: writing, drawing, painting (though I’m not good at it), playing music (though I’m not especially good at that, either). For others, it might be inventing something, building a Business, coming up with a clever marketing campaign, forming a non-profit.

* Relating: It’s not “family” that makes life worth living, I think, but the relationships we create with members of our family, and the way we maintain and build those relationships. Same goes for friends, lovers, Business partners, students, and everyone else.

* Helping: Being able to lend a hand to people in need – however drastic or trivial that need may be – strikes me as an important part of life.

* Realizing: Making, working towards, and achieving goals, no matter what those goals are.

* Playing: Maybe this is a kind of “relating”, but then, play can be a solo affair as well. Letting go of restraints, imagining new possibilities, testing yourself against others or against yourself, finding humor and joy.

* Growing: Learning new things, improving my knowledge and ability in the things I’ve already learned.

Those seem like more satisfying answers to me – they strike deeper into what it is I want for myself, what makes it worthwhile to get up in the morning.

What about you? What makes your life worth living? Do you feel like I’m headed down the wrong path here? How would you answer the question, “What makes life worth living?”

我的朋友在一次上完心理课后，作为家庭作业，老师让她写一篇论文来阐述 “什么让我们的生命充满意义？”

在过去的这些天里，她不停的她周围的人——孩子、朋友、同事——什么让他们的生命充满意义，答案是五花八门的：家庭、朋友、事业、音乐、财产或其他的东西、信仰、或者健康、计算机游戏。

虽然没有必要一一陈述这些琐碎的答案，但是他们的答案让我大吃一惊，我对他们关于“什么让你的生命充满意义？”的回答不敢苟同。家庭、朋友、事业等等就让我们的生命充满意义吗？只是这些吗？

那为什么大部分逐渐拥有家庭、朋友和工作的人，没有比以前更加幸福呢？事实上，为什么我们生活的社会中，抗抑郁剂成为利润最丰厚的治疗方法呢？为什么书店的书架上排满了讲解如何可以更加幸福的书籍呢？

我想总是有些事情阻止我们诚实的回答这个问题。是的，当人被放到某一点，然后被问一个人类一直在追寻其答案的高深问题时，这可能并不利于人们去思考这个问题的答案。或者，她应该给那些被问到的人们一周的时间去思考，但是我觉得她仍然不会得到更好的答案。

当人们在谈论GTD（Get Things Done! 把事情做完。）周回顾时，我看到了相同的阻力。我们大多满意我们完成的任务和做出的短期计划，但是艾伦坚持我们应该对我们的生活有“50000英尺远的规划”——一幅宏伟蓝图——人们更喜欢短期完成的计划。

在对艾伦的每次采访中，我都会听到或读到他的一遍一遍坚持的观点，即我们要自问，“现在我正在做的事情将会是我生命中做过的最重要的事情吗？”这时，我看到一样的阻力。我是在嘲笑谁吗？我感到了相同的阻力，当我在清理后院的狗粪便时，当我在黑莓上玩敲方块游戏时——这些真的是我可能正在做得最重要的事情吗？

或许不是。

然而，这个问题本身也使我震惊。什么让我们的生命充满意义？我相信这些理智的人们在回答这个问题时用了让人不甚满意的方法——我们长大后习惯以占有物来定义我们自己，而我们自然的认为我们的占有物是我们自身的延伸。即使是我们身边的人，除了是我们的占有物，我们也难以从其他角度去看待他们，看作是有某种品质的“物品”可以让我们幸福。或者，太经常，就不是了。

就是说，无论他们在我们的生命中占据了多大的一部分，他们仍然是“物”，是我们生命之外的东西。我认为任何关于什么让我们的生命充满意义的问题都应该从审视我们内心开始，而不是从检查我们周围的人或物开始。

实际上，我认为我需要用实际行动来回答这个问题，我们做的事情让我们的生命充满意义。答案是动词而不是名词。当我在思考如何回答这个问题时，下面的这些行为就进入了我的脑海：

创造：写作、绘画、喷漆（虽然我并不擅长）、演奏乐器（虽然我尤其的不擅长）。对其他人来说，它可能是发明什么东西，创立一个公司，打了一场聪明的市场战，行程一个非赢利机构。

联系：并不是“家庭”让我们的生命充满意义。我想，而是我们与家庭成员之间创造的关系，并且把这种关系保存下来并加以巩固。相同的与朋友之间、爱人之间、事业伙伴之间、学生之间和其他任何人之间。

帮助：尽自己所能去帮助需要帮助的人们——只要可能需要，不管是大灾难还是小麻烦——都会被我看作成为生命中的重要部分。

玩耍：玩可能被认为是一种“放松”，但是，玩也是一件独立的事情。放开约束、展开想象，和别人或者和自己比赛，发现幽默和快乐。

成长：学习新的东西，在已经学过的基础上不断提高自己的知识和能力。

这样的答案看起来更让我满意——这些深深进入我内心，这些是我想为我自己做，这些是我每天早晨起床值得做得事。

你的答案是什么呢？什么让你的生命充满意义呢？你觉得我的分析有不对的地方吗？那么你将如何回答“什么让我们的生命充满意义”这个问题呢？