One of the first personal development books I ever bought (the Magic of Psychic Power!) had a number in it that shocked me so much that I have remembered it ever since - 25,500. That, according to author David J Schwartz was the average number of days someone lives. (Life expectancy in the developed world has increased; in Japan it’s now around 82 years, near enough 30,000 days)
When I first read that figure, aged around the age of 20, it seemed such a small figure. Now 30 years - or 11,000 days - later I’m rapidly eating into my allotment, if I’m lucky enough to get an average quota.
The film American Beauty has a nice twist on the famous poster quote:-
“Remember those posters that said, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life?” Well, that’s true with every day except one: the day that you die….”
In the chapter of Schwartz’s book, he further illustrates his point by saying that every day 5500 Americans die (it’s a generally cheerful, uplifting book!). Without dwelling on that statistic, few of us like to contemplate that our death is as much a part of life as our birth. “No one gets out alive”
Another perspective I often use, is to to say that today - December 31st 2008 - will never happen again. When its gone, its gone. Sure, you’ve got 1st January 2009 to look forward to (hopefully) and 31st December 2009 - plus the days in between. But why waste today when you won’t have it again?
Steve Pavlina has a very good post on goal setting, well worth reading the whole thing. But towards the end he has this quote:-
“I was once told by someone that I should end each day by crossing it off my calendar and saying out loud, “There goes another day of my life, never to return again.” Try this for yourself, and notice how much it sharpens your focus. When you end a day with the feeling that you would have lived it the same if you had the chance to repeat it, you gain a sense of gratitude that helps you focus on what’s really important to you. When you end the day with a feeling of regret or loss, you gain the awareness to try a different approach the next day”
If we’re not careful, we don’t notice that the days are passing us by. We take the paths of least resistance, sticking within our comfort zone. We watch TV all evening rather than learn skills that will help us advance. We put up with unwarranted criticism, we passively submit to requests rather than assert our needs. We allow a lack of confidence to pass up on an opportunity.
Lacking self confidence can be a barrier to making the most of life and enjoying the moment. If you are hesitant in your ability to achieve something, you may never start it. Low self esteem casts a negative shadow on your opinion of yourself. Even if you do things you have a low opinion of what you have done, and get no pleasure from achievement.
Looking back over the past year, or even the past week, its by doing things and stretching myself that I feel I have made the most of my days. Or as the quote from Steve Pavlina says, I would live it the same way if allowed to repeat it. But, to use another cliche, life is not a rehearsal - there is no replay button. Moreover there is no erase and record again facility!
I finish today, and this year, with a question I have recently read on FreetheDiva:-
A bank credits your account each morning with £86,400. It carries over no balance to tomorrow. Every evening you lose the balance you failed to use during the day. What would you do? (I converted the $ to £ as the pound needs all the help it can get at the moment!)
Well most people would withdraw every penny they could before they disappeared, and invest them as best they could. Yet everyday we are credited with 86,400 seconds, which disappear when the day is over. Most of us squander those seconds, let them slip by as if we have a limitless supply. Remember, if you fail to “invest” them, its your loss.
I wish you all the best for 2009 - make the most of all 365 days.
我曾经买过的一本在描写个人发展方面首开先河的书(心灵能量的魔力!),书中的一个数字深深地震撼了我,从那时起我便记住了它——25500,据此书作者 David J Schwartz所述,这个数字是人活着的平均天数。(在发达国家,人们对寿命的预期值有所增加;在日本,大概是82岁,将近30000天)
当我第一次看到这个数据时,作为一个20岁左右的年轻人,对我来说是多么小的数字。如果30年过去了或者是11000天——之后我将很快的耗费掉我的生命,如果我足够幸运的话,可能也会获得人均寿命的额度。
电影《美国蔷薇》在其著名的海报宣传语中运用了一个相当好的写作手法:
“记住海报中所说的,‘今天是你余生的第一天吗?’是的,每天都是如此但是除了一天:就是你离开这世界的那一天...”
在Schwartz 的书中,他告诉我们每天去世的美国人有5500个(这是一本令人振奋的书),以此他进一步论述了他的观点。如果没有对数据进行详细的统计分析,几乎没有人愿意将我们的死亡看做是生命的一部分,就像我们的诞生一样也是生命的组成部分。“没有人能活着离开这个世界的”。
我经常用的另一个观点是,今天——2008年12月31日——不会再来一次。当它逝去的时候,它便永远的离我们而去了。当然,如果今天是2009年1月1 日,你也许会充满希望的期盼着2009年12月31日的到来——无论是其间的那一天。但是如果时间逝去不会再有,为什么我们还要浪费掉无数的今天呢?
Steve Pavlina 在目标设置方面发表过一个非常好的帖子,很值得我们一读。帖子的尾声是这样描述的:
“有人曾告诉过我,当一天过去的时候,我应该从日历中把它删除然后大声的说,‘我的生命又逝去了一天,而且不会再回来了。’不妨自己也试试,然后留心下它会让我们的关注度增加多少。当一天结束的时候,如果你觉得要是有机会重来,你会用相同的方式来度过的话,你会充满感激,而这份感激会帮你更加关注生命中对你而言真正重要的东西。当一天结束的时候,如果你觉得后悔或者迷失,你便会有意识在第二个黎明到来之时去尝试一种不同的过法 ”
如果我们不在意,我们不会留意到日子在一天天的逝去。我们选择的道路上布满最少的阻碍,安逸的呆在我们舒适的环境中。比起一些能让自身提高的技艺,我们却选择整夜的看电视。我们忍受不应有的指责,我们被动的服从要求,而不是坦言自己的需求。我们因为不自信而拒绝机遇。
自信心的缺乏会成为你大部分生活的障碍,也会阻碍你享受生活。如果你觉得你的能力在达到某目的方面不够自信的话,你就不要选择开始。自尊心的缺乏会对你自己的观点笼罩上一层消极的阴影。如果你没有认识到自己所做之事的意义所在,即使是成功了你也不会从中获得任何的快乐。
回头看看过去的这些年,或者仅仅是过去的一周,对于你所做的事和你所做的努力,你觉得已经利用了大部分的时间。或者正如Steve Pavlina 所说的,如果可以重复来过,我会用同样的方式度过。但是,用另外一个俗语,生命是没有预演的——它没有重播按钮,它是不可删除的,在它的世界里也不存在可以重录的设备!
带着一个问题结束了今天,今年,它是最近我在FreetheDiva上阅读到的一个问题:
银行信贷记录中你的账户每天早上都有86400英镑。到明天就没有多少余额了。由于白天的使用不当导致你的收支不平衡。这时候你会怎么办?(我将美元转化成英镑,是因为在这时候强烈的打击急需所有能得到的帮助!)
大部分的人都打算在钱消失前尽量撤回每一便士,然后以尽量好的方式做投资。每天银行贷款给我们的时限是86400秒,当一天结束,这些时限也到期了。我们中的大部分人都会浪费掉这些时间,就像我们有无限的供应一样任由这些时间从身边溜走。切记,如果你这里投资失败,它就是你的损失。
2009年我致上我最好的祝福——希望大家充分利用所有的365天。