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For Valentine's Day on Monday, Amy McMahon will be celebrating twice. She's preparing a romantic candlelight dinner for her longtime boyfriend and giving him a gift card from his favorite fitness website. That same day, Ms. McMahon will be giving her 'work husband' some small heart-shaped cakes and a sentimental card.
'Valentine's Day doesn't have to be all about romance. It is about showing the people you love that you care,' says Ms. McMahon, who lives in Columbus, Ohio, with her boyfriend of 10 years, Casey Hoover.
Over the past three years, Kian Weaver, her colleague at a health-care organization, has become her office spouse, a term for a co-workers with close relationships. They exchange job and personal advice and take workday lunches and shopping breaks together. Mr. Weaver says he will be getting Ms. McMahon a card and chocolates Monday as well.
Amy McMahon and her work-husband Kian Weaver
For many office spouses, Valentine's Day is uncharted territory. Even though the relationship is platonic, some want to use Feb. 14 to acknowledge their bond.
Of course, conventional wisdom says it's a no-no. Valentine's Day is so tied to romantic love that even casual gifts to a co-worker are easily misunderstood, says Jacqueline Olds, an associate clinical professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. 'One person might think it's all in good fun, while the other person could easily take it the wrong way,' she says.
Employers, wary of sexual-harassment problems, often frown on Valentine's Day parties or gift-giving at the office. And office spouses can also be hazardous to a marriage when the relationships cross the line into an 'emotional affair' -- a romance 'that hasn't become sexual yet,' says Peggy Vaughan, a San Diego author and founder of Beyond Affairs Network, an organization of support groups for people hurt by spousal infidelity.
Nearly two-thirds of workers have or have had a work spouse, according to a survey in July of 640 white-collar workers by Captivate Network, a Chelmsford, Mass., digital-programming and advertising company.
Still, the greeting-card industry isn't touching the office-spouse relationship. Valentine's Day is universally regarded as 'an occasion for spouses or romantic partners to express their love,' says Susan January, vice president of the Greeting Card Association, a White Plains, N.Y.-based trade group. Any non-romantic cards stick to humor between friends.
Mr. Hoover says he knows all about Ms. McMahon's plans with Mr. Weaver. In fact, Mr. Hoover says he and Mr. Weaver are friends and work out together. He sees Mr. Weaver's bond with his girlfriend as 'a win-win.' When Mr. Weaver advises Ms. McMahon on relationship matters, 'she gets the perspective of another guy, and sometimes it makes my life easier,' Mr. Hoover says.
Amy McMahon and her boyfriend Casey Hoover
Office spouses also have to make it clear that they value their actual spouses or romantic relationships more. Former TV anchorwoman Cindy Morrison says she respected and admired her longtime work husband, co-anchor Mark Bradshaw, so much that she always bought him a Valentine's Day 'friend card' and gift, such as cologne. 'I spent more time with him than with my actual husband,' says Ms. Morrison, who worked with Mr. Bradshaw for 12 years at KTUL-TV in Tulsa, Okla., before leaving in 2009. 'If you have that great trusting relationship, why not have fun and be funny with it?'
But Ms. Morrison always got her husband Todd a more romantic, 'fun and flirty' gift, such as a jar with 365 'sweet nothings' inside, one for every day of the year, or a vacation plane ticket, she says. Mr. Morrison says he not only didn't mind his wife's Valentine's Day gifts to her office spouse, but appreciated the support his wife and Mr. Bradshaw provided each other at work.
Mr. Bradshaw says he enjoyed the gifts as a product of Ms. Morrison's 'very giving and very emotional' nature and felt bad because he could never think of anything appropriate to give her in return. The Morrisons are friends with Mr. Bradshaw and his wife of 21 years, Michelle.
Other office spouses will just tweak their daily routines a bit in honor of each other. Kristi Serrano and Dennis Ritell, both managers at The Knot, a New York-based wedding-planning media company, have been office spouses for about three years. 'I consider him one of my best friends and a sounding board' on both work and personal life, Ms. Serrano says. Mr. Ritell always buys her a birthday card, and Ms. Serrano sometimes helps him shop for clothes, he says. Mr. Ritell has met Ms. Serrano's boyfriend, Brian Sozzi, and they have double-dated.
There is also an easy route for office spouses, the one chosen by Megan Stuke. She readily jokes that she has two husbands -- one at home and a work husband at the hospital where she is employed as an administrator. 'It's important to have someone to bond with at work,' she says. She teases her work husband about his wardrobe choices and reminds him when he needs a haircut. He kids her about her bossing him around, and cleans the snow off her car in the office parking lot, she says. Her husband at home knows her office husband and 'thinks it's funny,' says Ms. Stuke, of Lawrence, Kan.
But she won't be getting her office husband anything on Valentine's Day. 'Are you kidding me?' Ms. Stuke says. 'That's just weird. It's a romantic holiday.'
参考译文：
明天就是情人节了，家住俄亥俄州首府哥伦布市的艾蜜•麦克马洪(Amy McMahon)打算过两次情人节。她将给自己交往多年的男朋友准备一顿浪漫的烛光晚餐，送一张他最喜欢的健身网站的礼品卡。同一天，她将送给自己的“工作丈夫”一些心型小蛋糕，以及一张感恩的贺卡。
艾蜜说，情人节不一定只能是恋人之间的浪漫节日，也可以在这一天向你敬爱和关心的人表达心意。她男朋友叫凯西•胡佛(Casey Hoover)，两人已经交往十年。
过去三年来，在一家医疗机构工作的艾蜜与她同事齐安•维弗(Kian Weaver)已成为“工作夫妻”，这个名词用来形容工作关系密切的男女同事。他们平日交流工作意见和个人想法，经常在一起吃工作午餐，一起出去购物。齐安说，他在下周一也将送给艾蜜一张卡片和一盒巧克力。
对许多“工作夫妻”而言，情人节是个从未涉及的节日；而对有些人来说，纵然只是一种柏拉图式的精神维系，他们还是想在2月14日表达一下对彼此的关心。
当然，传统观念认为这是万万不可的。哈佛医学院(Harvard Medical School)精神病学临床副教授贾桂琳•奥尔兹(Jacqueline Olds)说，情人节与浪漫的爱情紧密联系在一起，即便送给同事一件很随意的礼物也容易造成误解。有些人可能觉得情人节送同事礼物只是为了好玩，但另一些人很容易就会想偏。
对性骚扰问题颇为警惕的企业往往不赞同员工开情人节派对或互送礼物。加州圣达戈作家佩琪•沃根(Peggy Vaughan)说，“工作夫妻”如果越线变成“感情出轨”，很容易破坏既有的婚姻关系。感情出轨就是一个还没发生性关系的外遇。佩琪也是“超越外遇网路”(Beyond Affairs Network)的创始人，该机构专门为那些因配偶不忠行为而受到伤害的人提供帮助。
2010年7月，麻塞诸塞州切姆斯福德镇(Chelmsford)的Captivate Network数码程式设计及广告公司对640名白领职员做了一项调查。结果显示，近三分之二的上班族有或曾经有过“工作配偶”。
不过，贺卡行业对“工作夫妻”关系并不买帐。纽约州怀特普莱斯市(White Plains)的“贺卡协会”(Greeting Card Association)行业组织的副总裁苏珊•杰纽瑞(Susan January)说，情人节是一个公认的让夫妻或恋人互表情意的节日。送给朋友的非浪漫卡片还是以幽默搞笑为主。
艾蜜的男友凯西说，他知道艾蜜跟齐安的情人节安排，并表示自己跟齐安也是朋友，经常一起健身。他认为齐安跟自己女朋友的关系是一种“双赢”，因为齐安会跟艾蜜探讨一些男女之间如何相处的话题。凯西说，她能从另一个男人那里获得看问题的新视角，有时候，这会让我的日子更好过一些。
“工作夫妻”也必须相互说清楚，他们更看重自己真正的配偶或恋人。前电视新闻主持人辛蒂•莫里斯(Cindy Morrison)说，她非常地尊重和爱戴与她长期合作的“工作丈夫”──搭档主持人马克•布拉德肖(Mark Bradshaw)，每年都会在情人节送他一张“朋友卡片”和一份礼物。辛蒂与马克在奥克拉荷马州突沙市(Tulsa)的KTUL-TV电视台共事长达12年之久，直到2009年辛蒂离职。辛蒂说，如果你有一份值得信赖的工作关系，为什么不享受一下这份乐趣，玩点有意思的事情呢？
不过，辛蒂总是给她丈夫陶德(Todd)准备一份更罗曼蒂克、更有情趣的礼物。辛蒂说，比如一个大罐子，里头有365张“情话”小纸条，可以每天打开一张来看，或者是一张度假的飞机票。陶德表示，他不仅不在意妻子在情人节给她的“工作配偶”送礼物，而且还很欣赏辛蒂和马克在工作中的相互扶持。
马克说，他很高兴收到辛蒂的礼物，觉得这是出于她乐于给予、注重感情的天性，同时觉得很内疚，因为总是想不出能有什么合适的东西作为回礼。莫里斯夫妇与马克及其结婚21年的太太蜜雪儿(Michelle)都是好朋友。
其他一些“工作夫妻”只会稍微改变一下日常的工作安排，以表示对彼此的敬意。克利斯蒂•瑟莱诺(Kristi Serrano)和邓尼斯•理特尔(Dennis Ritell)都是纽约一家婚庆规划媒体公司的经理，成为“工作夫妻”大约有三年了。克利斯蒂说，无论在工作还是在生活中，我都把邓尼斯看作是最好的朋友之一，有事情经常向他征询意见。邓尼斯每年都送克利斯蒂生日卡片，他说克利斯蒂有时候会帮他选购衣服。邓尼斯见过克利斯蒂的男朋友布莱恩•索兹(Brian Sozzi)，并带彼此的恋人一起聚会过。
“工作夫妻”还有另外一种简单的相处模式，比如堪萨斯州劳伦斯市(Lawrence)的梅根•斯塔克(Megan Stuke)选择的方式。她经常开玩笑说自己有两个老公，一个在家里，另一个在自己从事行政管理工作的医院。她说，在工作时能有一个关系密切的人很重要。梅根会取笑“工作丈夫”不懂怎么挑衣服，也会提醒他应该去理发了；而她的“工作丈夫”则开玩笑说梅根老是指使他干这干那，也会在医院的停车场帮她清除车上的积雪。梅根说，她丈夫知道她有个“工作丈夫”，觉得这挺有意思。
不过，她不会在情人节给她的“工作丈夫”买任何东西。梅根说，你在开玩笑吧？在情人节给同事买礼物太奇怪了，这是个情人之间的节日。
