In every man there is a king. Speak to the king, and the king will come forth.
Outside our hotel in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam, a seemingly ancient woman on crutches waited beside the door with her hand outstretched. Every day I put my hand in hers as our eyes met. She never failed to return my smile, my grasp, and my sin chau greeting.
On the last day of our visit, I found myself alone on a busy corner across the street from our hotel. Bicycles and motorbikes careened in front of me. We had been advised to walk straight through the teeming traffic without looking right or left. Let them avoid us.
But tonight I was by myself and felt inadequate to face the torrent of vehicles. As I hesitated on the curb, I felt a hand on my elbow and looked down to see the smile of my small beggar friend looking up at me. She nodded her head toward the street, indicating that she would take me across. Together, we moved slowly into the chaos as she gently prodded me forward.
When we reached the center of the crossing, I looked down at her again, and couldn't resist exclaiming, "You have the most beautiful smile."
She obviously knew little English, but must have recognized the tone, for she threw both arms and crutches around me in a big hug, while the traffic streamed by us on both sides.
Then we precarious moved on toward the sidewalk, where she pulled my face down to hers, kissed me on both cheeks, and then limped away, still smiling and waving back to me.
I had not given her a single coin. We had shared something vastly more important - a warming of hearts in friendship.
This experience remained me of something Mother Teresa once said: "If you cannot do great things, you can do small things with great love."
To look beggars in the eye and smile, thus acknowledging their existence, is a small thing. Putting your hand into another's outstretched hand and grasping it firmly for a moment is also a small thing. Learning to use a greeting in the local language is not too difficult. But these are important.
For many reasons, giving money is not the best response to an outstretched hand. Many world travelers have discovered that the greatest gift they can give is their time and friendship. Everyone needs recognition, to be seen as worthy of attention, to feel appreciated and loved.
Traveling in poorer nations, I have witnessed a variety of ways to deal with beggars. The most common response of tourists faced with the poverty-stricken is to ignore them and focus their eyes elsewhere. I have seen people push away an outstretched hand in angry annoyance. A few may hastily drop a few coins into a beseeching palm, and then execute a quick getaway in hopes that another 20 ragged pursuers won't immediately appear on the scene.
But I feel it's worthwhile to try to live by the words of English author John Cowper Powys: "No one can consider himself wholly civilized who does not look upon every individual, without a single exception, as of deep and startling interest."
I once spotted a legless man sitting by a road at the Pushkar Camel Fair in India. I was returning to my tent after recording the exotic music of the dancing men of Pushkar and was replaying the music on my tape recorder. When the man's smile lured me to join him, we began to communicate in the kind of sign language and laughter one learns while vagabonding around the world.
After mimicking the whirling skirts and sticks, I showed him how my tape recorder worked. He motioned for me to give it to him. I hesitated, but only for a moment. After examining it carefully, he began to sing a hauntingly beautiful song, indicating that he wanted me to record it and take it home as a memory of our time together.
Moments before, we had been total strangers: suddenly, we were cemented in a momentary friendship born of our common existence in this world. His eyes shone as we exchanged names. My experience with Vidur confirmed the truth of the Scandinavian proverb: "In every man there is a king. Speak to the king, and the king will come forth."
I've learned that those considered the world's most hopeless are so often rich in humanity, with hearts yearning to be affirmed - and ready to respond.
My life continues to be enriched by connecting with everyday humanity. Each time I do this, I rediscover that what I have been given is far beyond monetary value. And I reaffirm that everyone is worthy - and worth knowing.
在每个人内心都有一个国王。如果你想与他交谈,国王就会出现。
在越南胡志明市里我们旅馆外面,有一个颇似古代人的老妇人倚着拐杖,伸手在门口等着。每天,当我和她目光交汇时,我都会把我的手放在她的手里。她也会对我的微笑、握手及问候报以同样的微笑、握手及问候。
在我们参观的最后一天,我自己一个人,在旅馆对面街道上一个喧闹的角落里。自行车和摩托车在我面前猛冲直撞地行驶。有人建议我们径直穿过拥挤的车流,不要左顾右盼,以免他们撞到我们。
可是到了晚上就我一个人了,面对急流般的车流,我感到很不适应。当我在街头犹豫的时候,我感到在我胳膊肘处有一只手。我向下看了看,看到那个身材矮小的乞丐朋友微笑地望着我。她朝大街上点点头,意思是她带我穿过大街。她轻轻地推着我向前走,我们一起慢慢向人群糟杂的地方走去。
到达十字路口的中央时,我又低头看了看她,情不自禁地说了一句:“你的微笑最美丽。”
很显然,她不懂英语,但她一定可以辨认我说话的语调,于是她扔开拐杖,张开双臂拥抱我,此时,大街上的车辆都被我们涌到两边了。
这时,我们蹒跚地向人行道走去,她把我的脸拉向她的脸,在我两颊上各吻了一下,然后一瘸一拐地离开了,还不时地回头向我微笑和挥手。
我没有给她一分钱,但我们却一起体验了友谊的热情,这更有意义。
这个经历让我想起特蕾莎修女曾经说过了一句话:“如果你做不了伟大的事情,那就用伟大的爱心做点小事吧。”
用眼睛和微笑看待乞丐,认同他们的存在,这都是很小的事情;把你的手放在别人伸出的手里,紧紧地握上一会,这也是小事情;学会用当地的语言说句问候的话也不很困难;但是,这些都很有意义。
出于多种因素,对于伸出手来的乞丐来说,给他们钱并不是最好的回应。很多世界旅游者发现他们所能给予的最好礼物是他们的时间与友情。每个人都需要认同,需要关注,需要感激和关爱。
在贫穷的国家旅游,我亲眼目睹了与乞丐打交道的多种方法。面对穷人最常见的回应是不理睬,还有转移注意力。我曾看见有人非常恼火地把他们的伸出来的手推开。还有一些人急匆匆地把几个硬币丢在他们乞求的手掌里,然后就快速地离开,生怕马上又看见20多个衣服褴褛的乞丐追上来。
但是,我感觉能够按英国作家波伊斯说说的那样生活还是很有价值的,他说:“如果一个人不是对他人无一例外地怀着深厚、莫大的兴趣,那他就不能说自己是十足的文明人。”
我曾经在印度普虚卡骆驼节上见过一个没有腿的男人坐在马路边,我录完舞蹈家普虚卡的外国音乐后,就回我的帐篷,路上重放着录音机里面的音乐。我被他的微笑吸引住了,于是向他走近,我们开始用手语和笑声谈论起来。如果要在这个世界上流浪,这些都是要学会的。
模仿过旋转的裙子和鼓槌后,我告诉他录音机是如何运转的。他向我示意要我把录音机给他看看,我只是犹豫了一下便给了他。他小心检视过录音机后就开始唱歌,歌曲很优美让人难以忘怀,他向我示意把歌录下来,这样就可以带回家回忆我们在一起的欢乐时光。
不久之前,我们还完全陌生。突然间,瞬间的友谊把我们紧密联系在一起,我们的友谊诞生于我们在这个世界上的共同存在。我和Vidur的经历证实了斯堪的那维亚的一句格言:“在每个人内心都有一个国王。如果你想与他交谈,国王就会出现。”
我明白了,那些被认为是世界上最没有希望的人却经常富有人性,他们的心灵渴望被认同,也乐于做出回应。
与平凡的人保持联系,一直丰富着我的生活。每次这样做的时候,我都发现我所收获的远远不止金钱的价值。并且我再次坚信,每个人都是有价值的――值得你去了解。