Some work friends and I were recently discussing things that men can not criticize their girlfriends about. It was astounding how incorrect us guys were when trying to lay out our "rights" in terms of constructive criticism. The women in the office were appalled at what we thought we were allowed to talk about. If I could figure out what I am allowed to criticize and what I should stay away from, I'd avoid arguments and do a better job of hitting on girls.

    I'm guilty of saying things to women that only their best girlfriends, gay male friends, and moms/sisters are allowed to say. I put together a list below:

    Weight

    There is no friendly way for a guy to tell a girl that she's put on weight. Even if there was a friendly way, most of the women I've talked to about it said they would not want to hear it from a guy. It seems obvious, but not all guys know this. We polled some of the guys in our office, and the prevailing male opinion was as long as she's your girlfriend, or you've known each other for a while, then you can make weight loss suggestions. I think the best policy is silence. If I"m desperate to make a suggestion, maybe I tell one of her girlfriends to do it on my behalf.

    Outfit

    I think I'm only allowed to say someone generally looks nice, or I like her shirt or whatever. Getting too detailed or negative gets me in trouble. In fact, I attempted to "add on" to a compliment I gave a girl once. I told her she looked great, because she had a new outfit on. Now, remembering those times I saw my sisters or friends bark back "thanks, and just $30 from Target," I tried to double up on my compliment: "and it looks like you didn't pay much money either." She ended up crying. I've been told by women that they dress more to impress other women anyway, and not guys. Basically, I need to stick to "you look great" and leave it there. And I should probably avoid saying I don't like something a girl is wearing. That can only lead to no good.

    Friends/Family

    We've all dated people with annoying friends. But, people consider their friends as extensions of themselves so if you criticize friends, you're criticizing your significant other indirectly. My older sister has a good system of putting the word "that" in front of any of her husband's friends that annoy her. "Oh you're going with that Mike to the concert?" It's not an aggressive attack, just a little poke. Family is the same rule, but you probably get in even more trouble if you criticize the family of a significant other.

    Driving

    Every guy thinks he's a better driver than his girlfriend. I can learn a lot from my little sister's boyfriend. One day, my sister was driving the two of us to Baltimore for a weekend. My sister is a really bad driver. She doesn't brake when she sees brake lights ahead until she absolutely has to. This leads to passenger whiplash and nausea. During this trip I said: "you know, you can brake earlier- that way you're not slamming on the brakes at the last minute and making us all sick." She said: "do I do that?" I turned around to her boyfriend for confirmation and he simply said: "no comment". My sister's boyfriend loves me because I am allowed to verbalize all the criticisms that he's thinking.

    I like the "no comment" policy. But I can't stand not to give my opinion to women, even when it's bad. I want to learn the things I should hold off from criticizing about women. Do you agree with the items above? What do you hate being criticized about by guys?

    最近，我和一些工作上的朋友在讨论男人不能对女人的哪些方面评头论足的问题。讨论的结果是我们都很惊讶于男人们平时对女人的评头论足是多么的不正确。在办公室里女同事们经常被我们自认为可以谈论的内容吓到。要是我知道要避讳什么的话，我就不会和女同事或女朋友发生口头上的冲突，而是和她们和谐相处了。

    我对说了只有女性的闺密、同性恋朋友、和母亲或姐妹才可以说的话而感到抱歉。以下是我对这些值得道歉的话的一个总结：

    体重

    如果你要说一个女生变胖了，那她一定会被你得罪。即使你用很友好的方式对他们说，她们也不太愿意从一个男性的口中听到这样的话。者看来显而易见，但有些男性却看不到这一点。我们调查过办公室里的男同事，男性的主流想法是如果对方是你的女朋友或者是熟识的女性，你就可以建议她们保持身材。我认为，我们最好还是对此保持沉默。如果我真的很想建议她减肥的话，也许我会请他的女性朋友来代劳。

    装束

    我觉得我只能说她们看起来很好或者她们穿的衬衣或者类似的东西。如果说的太具体或者有什么负面的评论会给我带来麻烦。有一次，我想好好赞扬一个女孩。我说她因为穿着新裙子，所以看起来很棒。那时，我想起我的姐妹或朋友长回敬我的话："谢谢，30块钱从Target买的".我想再对那女该赞赏几句： "看起来这件衣服好像很便宜的样子。"结果我把她弄哭了。女同胞们告诉我，女人穿衣服是要给别的女人留下深刻印象，而不是为了男人。一般情况下，我应该只说一句："你看起来真棒"然后就好了。而且我还应该避免说我不喜欢某个女生的着装，因为那样做没有一点好处。

    朋友/家人

    我们都和有烦人朋友的人约会过。然而，人们认为朋友是他们自身的延伸，所以在你批评他朋友的同时，你变相的批评了你重要的另一半。我姐姐经常会在我姐夫朋友中让她讨厌的人前面加一个"那个"."噢，你要和那个麦克去看演唱会？"这句活语气并没有很强烈，只是表示小小的不满。谈论家人时的道理是一样的，为了避免大的麻烦，最好不要批评另一半的家人。

    驾驶技巧

    每个男人都认为自己的驾驶技术比女朋友的要好。就这一点，我从妹妹的男朋友那里学了很多。一天，妹妹开车载着我和她男朋友去贝尔蒂莫度周末。她的开车技术确实很烂。她只有到非刹车不可的时候才踩下刹车，根本不顾刹车灯的存在。这让我们备受折磨，腹内翻江倒海。路上我就对她说："你能早点踩刹车吗，那样我们就不会因急停感到恶心了。"她却说："我有这样吗？"我扭过头向他男朋友寻求确认，他谈谈的说了一句："不予置评".妹妹的男朋友很喜欢我因为我把他想说却不能说的都说啦。

    我很喜欢"不予置评"的策略。但我总是忍不住要给女性提点建议，即使我知道那样不好。我想知道我应该避讳的一些话题。你同意我列出的这些内容吗？你也很讨厌被男人评头论足吗？